


Blonde Shots

by changenotcoins



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, blind dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:22:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28819923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changenotcoins/pseuds/changenotcoins
Summary: Leslie Knope's love life has been lackluster ever since her one night stand and rejection from Mark. Her friends want the best for her, so they set her up with a series of blind dates, in the hopes that she will find Mr. Right. But the bartender where she has her dates is a little too cute and charming for his own good, and Leslie might just be falling for him instead.
Relationships: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Comments: 62
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks as always to Mandy, who always allows me to vent and share my fic ideas. Also, big thanks to mouseratstan for help with the title! I appreciate you both so much. <3

“What you need is to get laid,” Donna declared as Leslie put her fruity cocktail down. "I know damn well it’s been a minute since you’ve hopped in the saddle and ridden anything, Knope.”

Leslie raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth to give Donna a piece of her mind, when Jen piped up. “She’s right, Leslie. You’ve been so tense and short tempered lately. I’ve found that having regular sexual relations not only improves my mood but also my productivity. I do, of course, realize that not everyone can be on par with me, but I have yet to meet anyone whose mood wasn’t improved considerably after an orgasm or two. You really have to work on that, Leslie. Your short temper is just not amusing anymore.”

Leslie glared at her, then at the other three women sitting around the table of the bar. It was a typical Friday night in Pawnee and therefore packed to the brim with people who would soon move on to a club or another destination to keep the night young, once they were properly lubed up with alcohol. Leslie and the girls had no such ambitions. They were perfectly content to sit around, bitch about their jobs and lives and, in April’s case, gloat about the joys of married life, a life the rest of them couldn’t relate to.

“It never was amusing to begin with,” April scoffed at that moment, flipping her hair over her shoulder before throwing her own drink back, and proceeded to whisper something into Donna’s ear that made her coworker smile. Leslie sighed and picked up her glass again before sniffing disdainfully. “She needs a man.”

“As fun as this intervention from you guys has been,” Leslie interjected, sighing in irritation at the sad state of her love life. “I’m perfectly fine!” 

She received glances ranging from incredulous to pitying, but if there was one thing she didn’t need, it was pity.

April, being her usual apathetic but outspoken self, called her out on it. She slid down the bench they were sitting on, slung an arm around Leslie’s shoulder, pulled her against her, voice firm and serious. “You haven’t been fine since that asshole broke your heart.”

Leslie tried to evade her gaze but she was nothing if not stubborn. Catching her chin in a firm grip, she forced her to look into her eyes. “I’m serious, Leslie. You need to get back out there and forget him, find someone better and brighter and hotter than him.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Jen chimed in, oblivious to Leslie’s glare. “He was never in Leslie’s league to begin with.”

“Oh, thank you, Jen, that makes me feel so much better,” Leslie said sourly, then sighed when she caught Donna’s sad smile.

“She has a point, boo. I always had the feeling that you were just... settling for him,” Donna added. Leslie froze.

To be honest, she had been settling for Mark. He was just... he was the first guy who had pursued her, a feeling she wasn't used to, and aside from that asshole, nobody had ever really seen Leslie as a sexual being. Mark had shown interest in her, and Leslie was nothing if not eager to please. Having the attentions of what she thought was a good looking guy on her for the first time in her life had been both a novelty and a balm for her soul. 

And it hadn’t been so bad, really. Mark had been a nice guy; taller than Leslie and cute enough. Leslie had fallen for him eventually, had even started to pick out flowers for their wedding and a location for their future home in her head. Then, of course, Mark had to go and break up with her and tell Leslie that they had never been exclusive in the first place. What did Leslie think this was, a marriage? She had known that she had built up their romance in her head to something it very clearly wasn’t, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. 

It had burned her pretty badly. Now almost five years later, Leslie was certainly wiser but not necessarily happier. Oh, she had her dream job in the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department, aspirations for even more for her bright future and great, wonderful friends by her side who made her feel loved.

But she didn’t have the epic romance she longed for. She’d thought she had it with Mark, but she had been sorely mistaken. As for her private life, Leslie had the occasional one night stand under her belt and a few dates here and there that never really went anywhere.

Leslie’s life was at a point where she was content. Okay, so the dating had tapered off soon after she’d really delved into her work, and if she was honest with herself, she’d stopped it quite readily and faster than she might have if she hadn’t been burned by Mark. Realizing now that her ex (could she even really call him that after their one night stand?) had been a rather large reason for her not even trying to find someone new was a harsh reality to come to terms with. Back when she’d been rejected by Mark, she’d sworn to herself that she’d be damned if Mark’s shadow would ruin things for her.

But apparently, she had without even noticing, and even her friends could tell. Friends who she’d known for a long time now, who knew her so well, knew when was unhappy and unsatisfied.

Leslie sighed again and suppressed the urge to rub a hand over her face. She wouldn’t - _couldn’t_ \- let this get to her. But it did. It really did. Why couldn’t she find someone? 

“You’re right, you’re right,” Leslie finally admitted and she saw April pause, her drink halfway to her mouth. Leslie smirked at her. “Didn’t think I’d admit it, did you?”

April flipped her the bird, then patted her leg and slid back down the booth to Ann’s side. Leslie let her and addressed the four women. “The problem is that I’m tired of casual dating or casual sex. I was tired of it years ago, to be honest. _Especially_ after the whole Mark debacle.”

“You’ve never been the casual type, Leslie,” Ann said, giving her a knowing look. They had always been too alike and too close for her to not know what was going on inside her head. “And honestly, I knew you weren’t happy with the guys you dated when you didn’t even want to introduce us to any of them.”

Leslie evaded her gaze. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Ann was right. She didn’t want any of the guys she’d dated briefly to meet her friends, the most important people to her, because she didn’t think any of those men were worthy of being introduced to them. It was a sad truth, but even sadder was that she’d been transparent enough that Ann had caught on so quickly. Leslie shot her a doleful smile before lowering her head again to stare at her drink.

“Well, there’s only one thing to do then, isn’t there?” Jen piped up. She reminded Leslie a lot of herself, ambitious and cunning and passionate, but she was the newest member of their group and Leslie didn’t know as much about her as the others. But Leslie liked her. She was a welcome addition to the tight knit girls group they had formed. 

“What do you mean?” April asked, shooting Jen a curious look.

“Blind dates, of course.”

Everyone stared at her before Leslie put her hands flat on the table top. “Hell no!”

“Hell _yes_ ,” April countered, with Jen and Donna nodding enthusiastically. “You need to get laid, Knope, but you won’t do the casual thing, and how the hell are you supposed to meet guys who want to date you if you don’t get out there and meet them?”

Before Leslie could voice her protest again and more pointedly, Jen spoke up. “In fact, I’ve got just the guy in mind. I could give you his number. He’s really sweet and he just loves - ”

“What about ‘hell no’ gave you the impression that I want to go on a blind date?” Leslie interrupted her.

April’s hand landed on the table with a loud bang and cut Leslie off. April glared at her and she glared right back, each of them trying to will the other one to back down. In the end, Leslie was too tired to argue with her - and had a few too many drinks in her to really care - and gave in with a weary sigh.

To her surprise, it was Donna who started talking. “Look, Leslie,” she began, her concern obvious in her voice. “We’re your friends. We want to help. And what’s the harm in meeting a few hot men on some dates?”

“Nobody says you have to go and marry them,” April threw in, earning herself a glare from Leslie and an exasperated eye roll from Donna. April just shrugged her shoulders. “What? It’s true! I mean, not everyone has an Andy like I do.”

Donna shook her head, leaned over the table to grab Leslie’s hand and said, “Just... let us do this for you.”

Leslie bit her lip in thought. They _did_ have a point. Dating might get her out of the funk that Mark had thrown her into. It was high time to leave it behind, and what better way to do so than meet a few guys? Vetted by her friends, no less. While that might not be the wisest decision, even someone picked by Jen or Ann, who sometimes didn’t make the best choices in men - as their dating history had clearly shown her - was better than some guy she would get off of some less than trustworthy dating app like Tinder.

“Okay.”

The girls gaped at her for a second, then they all began talking at once. Leslie raised a hand to quiet them down. “I’m pretty sure this is a stupid thing to agree to and I’ll probably regret it tomorrow when I’m sober.”

April snorted but Jen actually bounced in her seat. “No, you won’t. We’ll choose wisely for you, you just wait.”

“Can I get that in writing?” Leslie said, an eyebrow raised skeptically. Ann looked like she wanted to agree but April stopped her.

“Okay, clearly we have to come up with a plan here so that there’s no way Knope can back out of it,” April said, and the other girls nodded.

“Each of us should pick a guy,” Donna suggested. “That way she’ll have some variety.”

Jen nodded. “That’s an excellent suggestion. But I suggest we give her even more of a choice by choosing more than one guy. How about three from each of us?”

“Could work,” April said. Ann grabbed a napkin and procured a pen from somewhere, starting to write down bullet points. Leslie blinked to make sure she was seeing that right, but when the image didn’t change, she cut in. “Guys, do you really think this is necessary - ”

“Hush, you,” Donna cut her off and waved a hand in her direction, not even looking at her. “We’re trying to get your love life going again.”

“Oh!” Jen said suddenly, clapping her hands. “This is actually perfect! It’ll be like ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’. She can have a date a week or something, and maybe have a boyfriend just in time for Christmas!”

April stared at her as if she’d lost her mind, but Ann seemed to agree because she jotted the idea down.

“I vote for Fridays,” Donna said. “That way she can either recuperate during the weekend or go on a second date right away if she hits it off with the guy.”

Ann wrote furiously and smiled. April didn’t say much of anything but she did look pensive. Then she cut in with, “Let’s rotate each week. Like, it’s Donna’s turn and then it’s Ann’s and then mine and so on. If we’re going to give her variety, she should profit from it.”

“You mean like, one week she’ll get a certain type of guy, and the next she’ll get acquainted with a completely different type of man?” Jen said, then nodded before getting an answer. “I like it.”

“Me too,” Donna said.

“Um, guys?” Leslie finally piped up, having enough. “I’m actually still here.”

April gave her an unimpressed stare. “Knope, you haven’t done anything for your love life in ages. You lost your right to contribute to this conversation.”

Leslie glared at her but April just crossed her arms over her chest, smirking at Leslie, daring her to defy her or question her methods. After a moment, Leslie heaved a sigh and slumped back into her seat. “Fine. Fine! Do whatever you want, because at this point I’m too drunk to actually stop you guys. But do me a favor and make sure you’re not letting me date any psychopaths, okay?”

“I am hurt that you’d think so low of us,” Jen pointed out but she was grinning. “Of course, they’ll be, you know… normal.”

“Well, something like that,” Donna added. Ann had stopped scribbling on the napkin and looked at April. They seemed to hold an entire conversation with one glance before they both looked at Leslie and grinned at her. 

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Ms. Knope,” Ann said, raising her glass in a toast. “And to make sure you won’t back out on this tomorrow, I’ll type this up with all of the details to make sure you’ll go through with this.”

Leslie groaned. “Is that really necessary?”

The resounding chorus of “Yes!” from all four of them made Leslie recoil a bit, then close her eyes and shake her head in defeat. “You’re all insane. I cannot believe I’m letting you guys do this.”

Ann smiled at her. “It’s for your own good, Leslie. Prepare to be blown away.”

“Prepare to get _laid_ ,” April corrected, leering at Leslie. She rolled her eyes, but still had to smile a bit. Maybe this blind date fiasco wouldn’t be quite as horrible as she thought it would be. Out of all the people she knew, apart from her mother and maybe Ron, she trusted these girls the most. Ann was the best friend she had ever had, Donna had helped her through tough times at work, and while Jen could be an unbearable know-it-all at times, she knew that she was actually a caring woman who had trouble expressing that in a moderate fashion. And hell, if it weren’t for April and her tough love, she might’ve never been able to survive in the world. Most of the insults that were flung at her on a daily basis were child’s play in comparison to what April had said to her during the years she had known her.

And who knew? Maybe Mr. Right really was out there, within her reach.

Oh, she was about to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

It took the girls another week or so to hammer out the details. Jen apparently won the obligatory coin toss of who would go first and gave her the phone number of a man who worked with her.

His name was Paul and he was thirty-six, a few years older than Leslie. He was a consultant like Jen and had recently managed a political campaign. When Leslie talked to him on the phone, he had a lovely voice and was very polite, and seemed to share her interests. It struck Leslie that maybe this could work, as they seemed like they fit on paper. Maybe there was hope after all.

He suggested a bar in Eagleton that was frequented by high powered, career driven folk and he promised to show her a good time, despite her reservations about setting foot anywhere in that town. Leslie reluctantly agreed, as she was only familiar with the best spots in Pawnee. If she was going to really commit to this blind dating adventure, which she wasn’t too keen about it in the first place, she might as well throw Eagleton into the mix. After all, it couldn’t get any worse, could it?

When she came face to face with Paul, Leslie was pleasantly surprised. He was well dressed - as someone who regularly consorted with politicians and business people alike, Leslie didn’t really expect anything less - his hair was impeccable and his grip was firm when they shook hands. He even went so far as to pull out Leslie’s chair for her, which was a bit much for a bar but Leslie didn’t mind so much. She’d never had anyone be this polite to her.

When the waitress came around, Paul ordered a whiskey and Leslie ordered the fruitiest, most sugary drink that they offered, but kept it virgin instead. Knowing that she would be going on blind dates, she’d grown reluctant to ingest alcohol in the presence of mere strangers. She only ever drank these days when she was in the company of people she trusted, and Paul was definitely not on that level yet. 

They started a conversation about Paul’s work and his career ambitions. At first, it had been interesting to listen to Paul’s experiences in the political world, but then it quickly progressed to a rant Leslie didn’t care to sit through. Paul was talking about himself, and _only_ himself. On and on about the political campaign he ran, who he was eyeing next, what his aspirations were for his own future in politics. 

Leslie failed to get a word in edgewise. She tried to talk about her internship with a political figure when she was younger and in college, about her own goals for her future in politics and her role within Pawnee government. She’d barely been able to say that much before Paul interrupted her and continued to talk over her, this time about the faults he found in the economy and how he thought a businessman would be more apt to run the country than a tried and true politician with experience.

Leslie was the first to admit that she could be a little self-involved. She had the tendency to steamroll herself, but this? This was too much. Paul, however, was in a league of his own. He’d been talking for almost thirty minutes without a break, Leslie unable to contribute anything to the conversation.

Leslie ordered a second drink fifteen minutes into Paul’s rant about idiotic accountants who didn’t get that the consulting business and its budgets wasn’t for the faint of heart. For the first time in a long while, she wished desperately that the drink had actual alcohol in it so this would be less painful. Really, she loved to talk fast and plentiful as well but usually she gave her companions the chance to actually say something in return. After she’d tried several times, Paul totally ignoring her attempts to get a dialogue going, Leslie resigned herself to just listening. Though the stubborn part of her crossed its proverbial arms over its chest. If Paul was so much in love with his own voice, fine. Let him talk. But he shouldn’t expect Leslie’s attention if he didn’t seem to care about her opinions anyway.

Her gaze started to roam around the bar after she came to that conclusion, taking in groups of people and couples who had way more fun than Leslie if their laughter was any indication. She saw the two bartenders go about their work, one polishing glasses while the other joked with two customers. Even they looked like they were having a better time than Leslie. The sight was actually kind of depressing.

If Leslie hadn’t promised her girlfriends that she would try to get to know the guys they set her up with, she would’ve left as soon as it became clear that Paul liked to hear himself talk more than he wanted to get to know Leslie. As it was, Leslie was nursing her third drink and looked at the clock above the bar as inconspicuously as she could, then tried to suppress a wince. She’d been here less than an hour and she already felt like it was a year of enduring Paul and his incessant talking.

When Paul started up on a new topic, Leslie suppressed an annoyed groan and was this close to just throwing in the towel and giving Paul a piece of her mind before leaving. Damn Jen and the fact that she had to work with him in the future. What had she been thinking, setting them up in the first place anyway? Thankfully she was saved from Jen’s future wrath for alienating her work acquaintance when someone stopped at their table and spoke so quietly, that she thought she had imagined hearing a voice at all. 

“Excuse me?”

Leslie startled, snapped out of her daydream that she had conjured up in an effort to tune out Paul, and looked up at the guy. The first thing she noticed were his eyes. Soft, concerned and dare she say, apologetic? She blinked before the rest of the man came into focus. And boy, what a man he was indeed. He was taller than her, a bit skinny, waifish even maybe, but that didn’t really matter because he was very easy on the eyes and kind of hot, in an understated way. Dark, unkempt hair crowned his head, framing a pleasant, handsome face. Strong shoulders and slim hips gave him an athletic figure. He was crouched over, leaning into their table in order to address her, and Leslie took the opportunity to inspect his backside, as discreetly as possible because Paul was still _right there_ even though she couldn’t care less about his presence at this point. 

_Such a cute butt for an equally cute face._

Her eyes continued to skim until she reached his upper body again, committing him to memory. He was the one and only highlight from this dismal night.

That’s when Leslie noticed the uniform.

Oh. _Oh._ He was one of the bartenders.

“Sorry to interrupt, but there’s a phone call for you,” Cute Bartender Guy said, waving vaguely in the direction of the bar while looking pointedly at Leslie. 

Leslie was puzzled. Who in hell had the phone number of this place so they could call her? And why wouldn’t they try to call her on her cell phone if it was apparently important enough to call in the middle of her date? On the other hand, she would take any excuse at this point to get out of Paul’s clutches, so she smiled tightly at her companion and followed the bartender.

They entered a hallway, probably leading to a set of offices, when the bartender stopped, turned around to Leslie and gave her a rueful smile. Leslie’s heart skipped a beat, then a swarm of butterflies started to gather in her belly. Fuck, the smile made him even more attractive, and Leslie wouldn’t have thought that was even possible.

“There isn’t, actually,” Cute Bartender Guy said, pulling Leslie out of her musings. At her confused stare, he elaborated. “A phone call, I mean. You just looked like you needed an escape route and I couldn’t bear to watch you suffer any more.”

Leslie continued to stare at him blankly, now more perplexed than confused. When the man started to shuffle his feet, clearly uncomfortable with the ongoing silence, Leslie tried to suppress a smile but her lips still twitched slightly. That didn’t seem to help the bartender any who had clearly noticed Leslie’s amusement.

“You can hang around back here for a minute or two and then make your excuses, if you want,” he offered Leslie, who just nodded, trying to look earnest but not quite sure if she succeeded.

The bartender nodded too, then turned to go back out to the bar. A sudden impulse made Leslie raise her hand and shout. “Wait!” 

The man had turned around, a questioning look etched across his face. Leslie wasn’t sure why she’d stopped him. She just knew that she was very grateful this stranger had noticed her plight and decided to do something about it. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly, deciding that it couldn’t hurt to express her gratitude with words. “I… thanks for the rescue.”

The bartender smiled again and shook his head. “No problem.” Then he exited the hallway to get back to work, leaving Leslie to process.

Leslie let out a slow, steadying breath when she was alone again, closing her eyes for a moment to get her bearings back. Holy shit, she never would’ve thought that a smile could unravel her like that. When she was sure she could form coherent sentences again, she counted to sixty before she went back out to the table where Paul was still waiting for her.

“I am so sorry, but I have to bail on you,” Leslie said as soon as she was within hearing distance. Grabbing her coat from the back of her chair, she mustered a regretful smile that she didn’t feel in the slightest. He actually looked disappointed.

“Something wrong?” Paul asked, for the first time this evening actually seeming to be interested in Leslie rather than the sound of his own voice.

Leslie made a non-committal sound while putting on her coat. “Just a family emergency.”

“We can always reschedule the date?” Paul said, looking hopeful. Leslie tried not to show her horror. The last thing she wanted to do was listen any longer than she needed to.

“I don’t know yet. Let me give you a call,” Leslie put him off, throwing a few dollar bills on the table to settle his tab. If it was up to her, she would call Paul when it was a cold day in hell. “It was nice meeting you,” she added, shaking Paul’s hand, before she fled the bar.

As soon as she was out in the crisp autumn air and walking back to her house, she released a breath and closed her eyes briefly. Okay, the first blind date of her life had been more of a letdown than even she had anticipated. She was going to _kill_ Jen for this, as soon as she got her fingers around her delicate little throat. 

The sudden image in her head of the bartender who had lied for her made Leslie stop in her tracks. He really had been a cute guy, no doubt about it. But he was probably married or had a girlfriend or even gay. They always were when Leslie felt an instant attraction to them. It was obviously her purpose in life was to find and fall for guys that she couldn’t have, or better yet, guys who didn’t want her. 

Or assholes like Mark.

Leslie sighed and continued her way back home. As soon as she was back, she picked up her phone and dialed Jen’s number.

She answered after the second ring. “You’re home early,” Jen said in greeting. Leslie rolled her eyes and made her way to the kitchen to brew some coffee. “I would have expected you’d be seducing him by now.”

“What did you expect me to do? Drag him home and have my wicked way with him?”

At her expectant silence, Leslie snorted. “I doubt he would’ve stopped talking long enough about himself for me to actually ask him to come home with me.”

“What do you mean?” Jen asked, her tone revealing her confusion.

“I mean, he was the most self-involved guy I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting,” Leslie bit out. “And I work with Tom, so that’s saying a lot.” 

Jen was silent for a moment, then responded. “I didn’t know he was self-absorbed. He’s very passionate about his field of work, I admit, but I thought you would be able to bond over your love for politics and government.”

“If I could’ve stated any opinions, we might have,” Leslie replied, then sighed again and slumped against her kitchen counter. “You weren’t too far off with your assumption, Jen. He just wasn’t it for me, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” Jen said. “I’ll pick someone better for next time.”

Leslie made a vague sound of assent while searching for a mug. “Oh, I should probably warn you: I lied to get out of the date early, citing a family emergency. I also told him I’d call, which I obviously won’t. So, if he asks you about it, make something up. Tell him I’ve died or something.”

Jen snorted, then laughed outright. “You? Are a horrible human being, Leslie Knope,” she said, trying to sound stern but not doing a very good job of it.

Leslie scoffed, putting the cup next to the coffee pot. “Whose turn is it next?”

“Donna’s,” Jen said promptly. “No idea who she picked though. We all decided to keep our cards close to our chests. All I know is that her guys will definitely be different from the guys I’ll choose for you.”

“Not really that surprising,” Leslie said, smiling a little. “Political folk don’t really go all that well with… well, the men Donna mingles with. I can only imagine who it might be.” Leslie just hoped that Donna wouldn’t set her up with someone who was just a piece of ass, someone for one night only or just someone to play with. Leslie needed more than that, and she hoped Donna knew that too. The men would be urbane at the very least. 

“We’ll see, I guess. Should I call her or - ”

“Oh, no,” Jen interrupted her. “I’ll let the girls know. You just concentrate on being your fabulous self and get ready for your next date.”

“I just hope it won’t be as much of a disaster as this one was,” Leslie mumbled, pushing the thought of the hot bartender out of her mind. She’d barely talked to the guy. He was just nice to look at, nothing more. He was a bartender for fuck’s sake, most people didn’t even notice the people supplying them with alcohol.

It figured that Leslie had to be the exception to the rule.

Jen laughed. “Don’t you worry, Leslie. We’ll find the perfect guy for you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an Outlander reference in this chapter and kudos to you if you get it. ;)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Also, I must warn you of this chapter. There is a possibly triggering scene in this chapter where one character makes an unwanted advance on another character. Just thought I would warn readers of this.

His name was Colum. He was originally from Scotland and had immigrated ten years ago. He was currently a professor at the local community college, an educator who came as a recommendation from Donna’s boyfriend Joe who was a teacher too. While he was definitely nice and asked Leslie many questions about herself, he had an obvious flaw: he was easily 20 years Leslie’s senior.

Now, some women might be into that, but all through dinner in an upscale restaurant in Eagleton with such a fancy dress code that Leslie worried briefly she might not find something suitable in her closet, Leslie felt like she was talking to an acquaintance of her mother’s. She tried to ignore the age difference, she really did, but it became clear after a while that Leslie just couldn’t. Colum seemed to be of the same opinion. After their desserts, he gave Leslie a rueful smile and said that, while he’d enjoyed Leslie’s company very much, he couldn’t really see them in a romantic relationship. Leslie breathed a sigh of relief and agreed. They parted on amicable terms and Colum even paid for a cab back to Pawnee so Leslie wouldn’t have to, and could get home safely.

As soon as she was back home, she dialed up Donna.

“What gave you the impression that I wanted to date someone in my mother’s age bracket?” Leslie asked her as soon as she picked up. 

She didn’t respond right away before she sighed. “Uh oh. I take it the date didn’t go well.”

“Your guess would be correct,” Leslie replied. “Lucky for you, it wasn’t unpleasant. Colum agreed, by the way. We wouldn’t work out very well.”

“But you had fun at least?” Donna pressed her.

Leslie had to give her that one. “The conversation was stimulating. It would’ve been better if he hadn’t been in his late fifties.”

“Okay, okay, I get your point,” Donna said, then fell silent. “I didn’t think the age was important to you so long as you got along with each other. But okay, I think I’ll have a better grasp on your preferences now. Although, it’s April’s turn next.”

Leslie’s stomach tightened. “Do I have to go purchase a gun?”

Donna laughed. “We all agreed to your terms that they won’t be psychopaths, do you remember? She’ll hardly set you up with someone too strange, boo.”

“Have you met April? I’m not so sure about that,” Leslie said, not really convinced. If April thought her guy was a good match, she’d probably bail him out of jail for the date.

“Don’t worry,” Donna reassured her. “If nothing else, Ann would be on her case. You’ll like him.”

“We’ll see,” Leslie hedged, then let Donna draw her into a discussion about her boyfriend Joe’s latest endeavors at the elementary school he taught at. Twenty minutes later, she’d forgotten all about April and the next date looming on the horizon.

Her date’s name was Christopher and they were somewhere in Eagleton; Leslie couldn’t even remember where exactly or what the name of this establishment was, but it definitely wasn’t the same place where Cute Bartender Guy had rescued her. She tried to feign excitement, despite being disappointed that she wasn’t going to see him again, at least not tonight. It was some sort of dance club and the music was ridiculously loud - definitely too loud to have an actual conversation, that was for sure. Christopher was closer to Leslie’s age and had recently finished his training as a paramedic, a life change he felt he needed to make. As far as Leslie could tell, he knew his way around an ambulance, but after a few drinks Leslie got the feeling that he didn’t like himself very much.

And she got the feeling he wasn’t too respectful of women either.

It hadn’t been obvious at first. Christopher had been a little fidgety when they met up in front of the club, but Leslie couldn’t really blame him for being nervous. When they’d entered the club and walked into a wall of loud electronic beats and heavy bass, Leslie felt the first doubts creeping up on her. How were they supposed to have a conversation, let alone get to know each other if they could barely even hear their own thoughts?

Christopher didn’t seem to think anything was amiss with his choice of establishment. He went straight for the bar and Leslie followed him, albeit reluctantly. After Christopher had downed his first drink in one swallow and had his second one in hand, he gestured to a set of metal stairs leading up to a bridge. Leslie could make out some couches and tables so she agreed. Maybe they’d be able to hear each other better up there.

They couldn’t. In fact, Christopher became even more quiet with every passing minute while he bounced his knee rapidly up and down. Leslie had to suppress the urge to put her hand on Christopher’s leg to stop him. If it had been one of her girlfriends, she might have done it, but he wasn’t and Leslie wasn’t comfortable touching people she barely knew. Christopher had downed his second drink almost as fast as his first one, and when a waitress had walked past their table, he’d ordered a third drink. Leslie was still holding her first one.

Despite the loud music, Leslie tried to get a conversation going. Christopher was, after all, nice to look at and seemed like an interesting guy, if a bit shy and very neurotic. But the few bits of information Leslie got out of him made it pretty clear that Christopher wasn’t comfortable with being on a date with her, or any woman for that matter. In fact, after his fourth drink it became pretty obvious that he had a whole bag of issues.

Why he’d even agreed to April’s suggestion to meet Leslie, she would probably never know. But here they were, Leslie trying her best to get Christopher to slow down on the alcohol and talk to her while Christopher’s goal seemed to be to get drunk as fast as possible so he would forget that he wanted to fuck Leslie.

Well, that ship had sailed about three drinks ago. The more alcohol Christopher had ingested, the more talkative and handsy he became. Leslie looked around, getting increasingly more worried about the events. Then Christopher slid down the bench, invading Leslie’s personal space and running a hand down Leslie’s arm.

“God, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” Christopher slurred, not even looking into Leslie’s face but instead staring at Leslie’s throat.

“Thank you?” Leslie said, not sure what to do with this drunk, self-hating pig of a man petting her arm.

“It’s not fair,” Christopher said, a frown appearing on his face and words beginning to become increasingly incoherent. “It’s not fair that you’re so tempting. Wish I didn’t wanna fuck you so bad, it’s not right! Thought I could do this but it’s still not right.”

Something cold settled in Leslie’s stomach at the words. She tried to move away from Christopher because there was no way in hell she’d let that man paw her anymore. However, the attempt to put some space between them seemed to enrage Christopher. His face was a mask of anger when his hand closed painfully around Leslie’s shoulder and he shouted at her. 

“Now you’re playin’ hard to get? You wanna get fucked, it’s all over your fuckin’ face! You want it, don’t deny it!” 

It was then he leaned forward and tried to kiss Leslie.

Leslie had had enough. Unpleasant memories of her high school years and one boy in particular who hadn’t taken no for an answer came back to haunt her and she shoved Christopher away, not caring one bit if she hurt him or not. 

“I am not that easy, you asshole,” Leslie said icily and stood up. “And if you touch me one more time, I’m going to call the police.” After one last seething look, she left without a backward glance.

She’d worked herself into a fit of rage by the time she got out of the cab and walked up the steps to her home. As soon as Leslie had closed the door, she grabbed the phone to call April. She got even angrier when April didn’t pick up right away. She put down the phone with an angry snarl and stormed around her house, shedding the clothes she’d worn and putting on a pair of well worn sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, a comfort to her when she needed it most. She sighed and tried calling April again. This time she picked up.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Leslie asked her, her voice strangely small after she’d been so angry for the better part of the evening.

She seemed to agree that something was amiss. “What happened?” April asked, the tone of her voice not quite as bored as she’d usually reserved for Leslie.

Leslie shrugged even though she couldn’t see and sank down onto her couch. Putting a blanket over her legs, she snuggled back into the couch cushions, and let her cheek rest against the back and closed her eyes.

“Leslie?” April snapped, sounding alert. “Tell me what happened.”

“It’s just... could you please pick someone next time who doesn’t hate himself? Or women in general, for that matter?” Leslie asked her quietly, not really in the mood to get into what had happened. It was bad enough that Christopher had succeeded in putting her back into the mindset of her high school years when one boy had basically made Leslie responsible for his lack of self control by being different, and told Leslie that she had been asking for it. She really didn’t want to dwell on it now by talking about it at length.

“What did he do? Do I have to kick his ass?” Now April was in full protective mode and Leslie couldn’t help but smile a little. She heard Andy’s voice in the background and April covering the speaker of the phone to talk to him. Now Leslie felt bad. She’d probably interrupted a date night, or one of their sexcapades. It was Friday, after all.

“Leslie? Do you want us to come over? Or do you want me to find this guy and kick his ass? Because I’ll do it, boss, you know I will!” It was Andy on the phone now, and hearing his earnest, well intentioned voice nearly undid Leslie. April didn’t even know why she seemed to be in such a bad mood now. Leslie doubted that April knew as she’d never told the story of how a boy in her class had kissed her against her will and then sexually harassed her with glances and gestures all year. Their readiness to drop everything and come keep her company just because they thought she might need it made something in Leslie’s chest ache. Even though she wasn’t really on the verge of a nervous breakdown, the knowledge that her friends were there for her no matter when or what made her smile a bit.

“No, I’m okay,” Leslie assured both of them. And she was. She was just in a funk, that was all. A good night’s sleep and focusing her attention on a project at work would get her out of it, she knew that much from experience.

“Are you sure?” April asked, returning to the phone, still so concerned for her wellbeing, a trait very unlike April. Leslie’s smile lost the sad touch at that.

“Yes, I’m sure. Just... try not to set me up with a psycho?” Leslie asked her, only half teasing.

April let out a little laugh at that request. “I’ll try my best. Though fair warning: most of my friends are a little psycho.”

“I think I can manage _your_ level of psycho, but not anything more than that,” Leslie shot back, feeling her limbs relax a little. Maybe she should watch a document about a female political icon for a bit before bed. That always got her out of one of her moods.

“I’ll send Andy to kick his ass anyway.” 

Leslie laughed. “You don’t have to, I handled it.”

“Leslie, for you to get so spooked, he definitely deserves at least an Andy Dwyer chokehold,” April sounded so sincere that the tight feeling in Leslie’s chest returned full force. She swallowed heavily.

“Just... give him the number for a good psychiatrist who can help him deal with his issues,” That was all she would say and April knew her well enough not to try to get more out of her. She remained silent and Leslie was sure she would try to do her part.

“Now get back to your husband,” Leslie said, finishing up the phone call. “Sorry I interrupted your date night or whatever it is you two were doing.”

April hesitated. “You’ll be good over there?”

Leslie smiled sadly. “I’ll be fine.” 

_I always am._

“Okay,” April conceded. “Later, Leslie.”

“Goodbye, April.” 

She hung up and let the phone slide into her lap. She stared at the television, debating if she should pick out a documentary or not, but quickly decided to just go straight to bed. Tomorrow was a new day. With that in mind, she got up and went down the hall to her bedroom, and fell asleep to dreams of Cute Bartender Guy instead.


	4. Chapter 4

After the disastrous outing with Christopher, Leslie was wary about the next date. What if Ann chose someone equally unfit? She knew Leslie the best out of all of them, and she would be more apt to find someone who would be a good match. Still, her own dating history had proven less than stellar and although Leslie knew she had her best interests at heart, she was apprehensive. She hoped the worst that would happen would be another boring evening of watching other bar patrons while she desperately waited for the date to end.

As it turned out, Calvin was a perfectly respectable guy, if extremely bland. He was one of Ann’s nurse friends, as Leslie found out pretty early on into their date. He knew that he wasn’t the most exciting guy and joked about it. He was funny in a very dry way, and he made Leslie laugh, but there was simply no spark whatsoever. He wasn’t really Leslie’s type, and the fact that getting the newest limited edition of surgical masks seemed to be the highlight of Calvin’s life didn’t help the matter either. They didn’t have a lot of common ground, it seemed. Leslie didn’t get the beauty of needles, of which Calvin was a massive fan. Calvin, on the other hand, never really got the point of dressing up in anything other than scrubs, which made Leslie grimace. Sexually speaking, Leslie could very well have been on a date with her long lost brother. Leslie tried to picture Calvin taking off his clothes but got stuck at the image of him folding his socks and underwear all prim and proper before he went to bed. No, she couldn’t even picture him naked, it was just too weird.

Unlike Leslie, Calvin seemed to be very attracted to her, which made for a very embarrassing few minutes after their date when Calvin tried to kiss her and groped Leslie’s ass. Leslie set him straight right away and in such a way that was much less cutting than she usually would have. Calvin seemed disappointed, but accepted the rejection, then wished Leslie good luck in finding the right guy.

At this point, Leslie had lost all faith in her friends to find the perfect guy for her. Admittedly, her confidence in them had always been small to begin with, but these past few experiences really didn’t bode well for the future. So far, she didn’t even want to make out with any of the guys they’d set her up with. It had been a very disappointing first round indeed. Although, at least Ann’s boring and dry nurse friend hadn’t been self-involved, way too old or self-hating.

Maybe she should give Craigslist or even Tinder another chance. At least the guys there were straightforward in what they wanted. Then again, there were some real psychos there as well. Better she stuck with the devils she knew - also known as her friends.

After she’d reported the failure of her date with Calvin, it was Jen’s turn again and she’d assured her that this time she’d picked the perfect guy for her. His name was Jason and he was the rising star in the public affairs world. He had a voice like an angel and the skills to boot and, according to Jen, coming from her that was the highest compliment anyone could ever get.

Apparently, the political folk and their ilk, like the public affairs people who aided them, really liked the bar in Eagleton because that’s where Jason wanted to meet her. Leslie didn’t really have a problem with that and agreed to meet there, secretly hoping that maybe Cute Bartender Guy (as she’d secretly started to think of him in her head) was working tonight. Which might not be the best starting point for a date, all things considered.

When she entered the bar, her first glance was to the back. Leslie felt a disappointing little clench in her gut when she couldn’t spot Cute Bartender Guy behind the bar, then shook herself out of it and looked around the room for her date. This guy at least deserved her giving a chance, she owed him that much. It wasn’t fair that her mind was preoccupied.

She spotted him right away, and something in Leslie cringed and recoiled. Really, Jen? Did she even know Leslie at all? She really, really couldn’t spend a night with that guy, she just couldn’t. It would feel like cradle-robbing, he looked so young. He had to be at least 18 to even get inside the bar, Leslie knew that much, but seriously? He looked like he was twelve, a baby face that made him seem so very out of place in this bar. It might be chauvinistic as hell but she liked her guys a little manlier than this Jason would ever be capable of being.

Leslie debated with herself if she should turn around right away and just leave him there, but her manners piped up and told her firmly that she couldn’t do that to the kid. She should at least let him know that the date wasn’t going to happen. An idea popped into her head about how she could finish this evening as quick and painlessly as possible, so she steeled her shoulders and marched right up to the table where Jason was waiting for her. His face lit up when he spotted Leslie, but the expression soon morphed into confusion when Leslie didn’t smile back.

“Hi,” Leslie greeted as soon as he was in hearing distance. “Are you Jason?”

“Yes?” he replied and shit, he even _sounded_ twelve. She made a mental note to give Jen hell the first chance she got for setting her up with someone who was very clearly jailbait.

“Leslie asked me to meet you and tell you she’s sorry but she can’t make it,” Leslie lied and felt awful at Jason’s crestfallen look. He’d obviously really been looking forward to this date.

“Um, okay?” he said after a while. “Does she, like, want to reschedule?” He was so hopeful that something in Leslie’s chest twisted uncomfortably.

“Honestly, between the two of us?” Leslie said, leaning forward. “I think she’s still hung up on that guy she dated a few years ago. She was just doing Jen a favor. It’s probably best if you don’t try again, you wouldn’t get out of it with your heart intact.”

There, at least she’d trashed herself while getting out of a date she wouldn’t be able to endure. Jason looked positively crushed, but nodded and gave Leslie a grateful smile before he got up and left the bar. Leslie sighed in relief. She turned to follow suit, then hesitated. It was Friday and the night was still young. Why should she go home just yet, when she was already here? One drink wouldn’t hurt anyone, and maybe she’d get her head clear. Decision made, she walked over to the bar and slid into a recently vacated stool.

“What can I get you?” A vaguely familiar voice asked. Leslie’s head shot up and her heart skipped a beat when she looked into a familiar pair of brown eyes. She blinked at Cute Bartender Guy who she’d been sure wasn’t working tonight. He was smiling politely at Leslie, waiting for her order.

“Um, a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri please,” Leslie decided after a beat and Cute Bartender Guy nodded, turning around. Leslie stared at his back, her gaze traveling down to the black pants that hugged his cute butt oh so well. His ass looked fantastic in the black material. Firm and round, it practically begged Leslie to touch it. She could feel the blush rising on her face at that thought and snapped her gaze up, but that only made it worse when her eyes came to rest on the guy’s broad shoulders. He definitely filled out that white shirt and black vest pretty nicely.

_Get a grip, Knope_ she chastised herself when she realized that she’d ogled the guy pretty much the entire time he’d been turned around. Leslie tore her gaze away from the appealing figure to look down at her entwined hands on the counter top.

“One virgin Strawberry Daiquiri,” Cute Bartender Guy interrupted her thoughts and put the glass down in front of Leslie.

“Thanks,” Leslie mumbled, taking a sip and smiling at him when the fruity concoction rolled over her tongue.

“Bad date again?” Cute Bartender Guy asked her after a moment, nodding to the table Leslie had recently stood next to. Leslie cringed and took another sip of her cocktail.

“You could say that,” she hedged, then buried her face in her hands. “I’m a horrible human being who shouldn’t be let out of her house.”

“Why’s that?” Cute Bartender Guy asked, putting his forearm on the counter and cocking his head, signaling that he was all ears. Leslie stared at the naked arm, noticing the tendons bulging slightly when he flexed his hand. She tore her eyes away and up where she was met with a curious look. Leslie sighed.

“I just lied to that poor kid because I couldn’t bear sitting there with him feeling like a pervy old woman. But really, how could I not feel like a perv when he looks barely old enough to get in here, let alone buy himself a drink? Fuck, I shouldn’t have agreed to my friends setting me up on blind dates. What was I even thinking? So far, they’ve either been self-involved to the extreme, total psychos or had the sex appeal of a wooden stick. They were all horrible. Well, except for Colum, but he was way too old. He could’ve been my dad and that’s just...” Here she shuddered, then realized that she’d essentially babbled to a complete stranger and looked up, apologetic.

Cute Bartender Guy seemed amused by Leslie’s diatribe. He changed his position and put his chin on his hand. “Well, it is pretty hard meeting the right person without putting yourself out there, I suppose.”

Leslie had to agree, but still. “Why do I get all the unsuitable ones though?” she lamented and put her head on her arms. “My friends should know me better than they apparently do. Am I really that hard to please?”

“I don’t know, but why should you settle for something less than you deserve?”

Leslie looked up at that, but Cute Bartender Guy’s face told her that he was completely serious. Leslie couldn’t help the small smile forming on her face. “You might have a point.”

“I always have,” he replied with a shrug, but before he could say more someone shouted, “Your break’s not for another two hours, Wyatt!” and Cute Bartender Guy cringed.

“Sorry, got to go back to work,” he said, then walked over to the guy who had beckoned him.

Leslie didn’t know why, but she was intrigued. She explained her curiosity with the fact that Cute Bartender Guy - Wyatt? Leslie hoped that wasn’t his first name, it didn’t fit him _at all_ \- was hot as sin, but something else, something deeper tickled Leslie’s fancy. It was as if he somehow knew her on a deeper level. It intrigued her enough that she decided to stay and get another drink, maybe get another chance to talk to the guy. Her desire to talk apparently wasn’t one-sided as Cute Bartender Guy came to Leslie’s side of the bar every so often, talking a bit about how he discovered new sides to Pawnee every day and how different it was than he’d anticipated when he’d come here three years ago. Leslie was excited to learn that the guy knew his way around local politics and government, just like she did, but before they could go deeper into it, he was called away again.

When there was finally a lull in customers, Cute Bartender Guy came back to where Leslie was sitting and put his towel down. “You know, three’s usually the charm.”

Having no idea what he was talking about, Leslie just gave him a puzzled glance. Cute Bartender Guy ducked his head. “The dates, I mean. Usually three’s the charm.”

Leslie just laughed. “I passed number three two guys ago,” she confided. “And trust me, he was definitely not charming. If anything, he scared the crap out of me.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, clearly alarmed now.

And while Leslie didn’t want to talk about it with April or even Ann, her very best friend, for some reason she didn’t even think twice about spilling her guts to this virtual stranger.

“He had issues with himself and women too, got drunk and handsy and cursed at me for tempting him. He tried to kiss me and I shoved him off. It was just... he dragged up bad memories from high school, that’s all.”

Cute Bartender Guy was silent for a moment, and Leslie could tell he was mulling something over in his head. Then he seemed to come to a decision. “You know, you could have all your dates here.”

Leslie stared at him, disbelieving. “Excuse me?”

Cute Bartender Guy fidgeted. “It’s just... you would be safe here. I’m working almost every weekend and a few shifts here and there during the week. If you don’t feel safe or need someone to give you an excuse to leave your date because they bore you to tears, I could help.”

Leslie stared at him some more, not sure she’d really heard what she had just heard. After a moment, she spoke. “Well, I appreciate the offer, Mr. …?”

That seemed to startle the guy. “Oh, right.” He wiped his hand on his pants and then held it out for Leslie to shake. “My name’s Ben. And for the record, I’m a nice guy who just wants to help, I promise.”

Leslie stared at Cute Bartender Guy - Ben, his name was Ben and that suited him so much better than Wyatt, thank goodness - then at his hand before slowly lifting her own to shake it. A spark of electricity traveled down her arm and Leslie bit down on the inside of her cheek so that she wouldn’t give her instant attraction away.

“Leslie,” she introduced herself. “I’m not sure if you’re for real or not, but I’d be happy to take you up on your offer.”

Ben smiled at her outright. “I promise I’m not a psychopath, just eager to help. My friends would all tell you I have a hero complex so... there you go.”

Leslie couldn’t help but smile back. Ben’s smile was infectious. “I’ll hold you to that.”

In retrospect, Leslie should have made sure she had a safety net from the very beginning. Even if her friends chose the guys they set her up with, the Christopher debacle had clearly shown her that they weren’t infallible. Having someone who had her back was certainly a wise decision.

“I have to get back to work,” Ben said after a moment in which they just looked at each other, grinning. 

Leslie nodded, then looked at the clock and winced. She drained her drink and put a few bills on the counter. “I’ve got to get home. I’ve got a friend to yell at for setting me up with a child.”

Ben laughed and the sound sent a surge of lust so strong through Leslie that she almost fell off her stool. “You do that,” Ben smiled at her. “I’ll see you around. Leslie.”

“Have a nice evening. Ben,” Leslie replied, then slid off the stool and made her way home, all the while thinking that the prospect of more dates wasn’t quite as daunting anymore now that she had a nice, hot bartender looking out for her.

She ignored the little voice in the back of her mind telling her that she had just set herself up for another major heartbreak. Ben was unavailable. She knew that. It wouldn’t be a problem.

She wouldn’t let it be a problem.


	5. Chapter 5

Donna’s pick for her this time was a guy named Richard. He was thirty-eight and teaching math at a high school. He wasn’t a handsy creep either, Donna assured her. Apparently, the Christopher thing had made its round in Leslie’s circle of friends.

Richard was indifferent to where they met and didn’t raise a fuss when Leslie told him she wanted to meet in a bar instead of a restaurant. So, it was yet another Friday night that brought Leslie to the bar a few blocks from where she lived, meeting a potential Mr. Right. She caught a glimpse of Ben working behind the bar when she entered and received an encouraging smile before he had to tend to a customer. Leslie took another deep breath and took a look around for Richard.

She spotted him after a moment, made her way over and smiled cheerfully at him. Richard was a pleasant surprise. He was taller than Leslie - which, in and of itself, wasn’t really all that difficult - with green eyes and artfully tousled chestnut hair. If anything, Leslie at least had something nice to look at throughout the evening.

Richard obviously liked what he saw too. He smiled at Leslie, asked her what she’d like to drink, listened attentively while Leslie talked about herself and readily answered questions about himself. He touched Leslie’s hand or arm to emphasize a point or just because he could - Leslie never really knew but she didn’t exactly disapprove - and Leslie thought that finally, one of her friends had hit the jackpot.

That was, of course, the moment it all fell apart. Leslie wasn’t even sure how they brought up that topic of conversation, but at one point they’d strayed to politics and government and Richard made a trivial comment about the Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the party which she belonged to and that he’d never seen the appeal of her and disliked her.

Leslie gaped at him, not believing what she’d just heard. Of _all_ people to disparage, it had to be _her_?

Leslie tried to save the date by bringing up that surely, he couldn’t argue the superiority of her accomplishments and ascent to the Supreme Court. Richard, apparently oblivious that he lost Leslie’s interest with every parting minute, just replied that he preferred someone much more conservative in views and that he hated her with a passion.

Leslie could barely hold back a shocked gasp at that. Who could hate Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Seriously, _who_?

Leslie was so flustered by this awful development that she excused herself to escape to the bathroom. She needed to regroup.

She locked herself into a stall and sank down on the toilet seat to think. She just couldn’t understand this. It had gone so well until Richard had to go and say that. Leslie knew herself well enough that she could never live with someone who couldn’t share her same opinions when it came to her feminist icons. They didn’t have to love them quite the same way she did, but they certainly couldn’t _hate_ them.

Just the thought of not being able to talk with her partner about these topics, these subjects, or watching a documentary together while cuddling on the sofa on a cold winter’s night, was a rather sad prospect indeed. And really, loving her wasn’t exactly something to be ashamed of. It wasn’t like Leslie loved to kill small kittens or anything. Giving that up? Well, she wouldn’t exclude that she would tone it down if her partner was annoyed by it, but giving it up altogether was not an option.

That wasn’t the worst though. Someone who hated Ruth Bader Ginsburg? No, it didn’t fit with Leslie’s picture of the perfect guy at all. Hating her meant he hated an essential part of who Leslie was.

Decision made, Leslie left the bathroom, squared her shoulders and made her way back to Richard who greeted her with a warm smile. Leslie didn’t smile back, which resulted in a confused frown. 

“Are you okay?” Richard asked, reaching out to Leslie who put her hand in her lap to evade the touch. The confused frown increased.

“I’m very sorry, Richard, but I don’t think the two of us will work out,” Leslie told him firmly. Richard was clearly bewildered and Leslie couldn’t really blame him. She would’ve been confused as well in his stead.

“I thought it was going well, actually,” Richard said after a moment, entwining his hands on the table top.

Leslie grimaced. “It was, until you told me you hate Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her whole party and everything she stands for. I’m sorry, I can’t see myself with someone who hates her or those things. It’s my whole _life_!”

Richard sat back, clearly stunned. Then something bitter flashed over his face. “You’re telling me you don’t want to pursue this further because of politics?”

Leslie stiffened at the tone. “Yes, that is precisely what I am telling you.”

Richard’s brows shot up and he stared at Leslie in disbelief. Then he shook his head and laughed hollowly. “Wow, Donna didn’t mention that you’re so shallow.”

Leslie went rigid at that, but remained calm. Richard may think that of her, but he didn’t really know Leslie well enough, and to an outsider her reasoning might look shallow. Biting back an instinctive cutting response, she took a calming breath and spoke again. “I might seem to you that way, but I’m really not. It’s just that I think partners should be absolutely honest with each other, and if you give me the constant feeling that I’m doing something wrong whenever I want to talk about her or share my views and beliefs with you, then - ”

Richard opened his mouth to say something but Leslie shook her head. “Let me finish?” Richard sank back in his seat, then nodded reluctantly. Leslie took another deep breath and continued. 

“Don’t deny that I would drive you crazy after a month of listening to me gush about one thing or another, and don’t pretend you could change for me or tolerate my devotion to her and my other female inspirations. I don’t want you to change, because your hate is something fundamental to you, something that defines you. So, if I don’t want you to change, and I definitely don’t want to change either, it’s clearly a bad decision to even try if we already know this would stand between us.”

Richard sat there, seeming a bit stunned by Leslie’s reasoning, but not protesting it either. After a while, he sighed deeply and shook his head. “I find it regrettable that you don’t even want to try, but I guess I’m glad you’re being honest.” He flashed a small, sad smile at Leslie, stood up and grabbed his jacket. “Take care,” he mumbled, nodded a goodbye and threw some dollar bills on the table before he left the bar. As soon as he was out of sight, Leslie slumped in her chair and rubbed her temples.

Fuck, these dating adventures were beginning to wear on her. 

She gave herself a minute before she picked up the money and made her way over to the bar to settle the tab. It didn’t take long for Ben to make his way over to her, giving her a sympathetic glance.

“That didn’t look like it ended well,” he commented and took the money when Leslie held it out for him. Leslie just shook her head, on the verge of turning around to leave as well before she whirled back around and grabbed Ben’s wrist.

“Am I shallow when I can’t go out with a man who hates Ruth Bader Ginsburg?” Leslie asked before her brain-to-mouth filter could engage. Ben only blinked at her, then looked down at where Leslie was still grabbing his wrist. She let it go immediately and felt a blush rise on her face.

“Who could hate Ruth Bader Ginsburg?” Ben asked, clearly confused, and something in Leslie’s chest loosened. _See?_ , she wanted to shout at Richard, _even Ben likes Ruth Bader Ginsburg!_

“It gets worse,” Leslie said gravely and slumped down on a stool, putting her cheek on her hand. “He hated politics and government in general. I breathe those things. They are my life. I could never go out with someone who hates such a fundamental part of me.”

He blinked down at her, biting his lip in thought. Leslie tried not to stare at the plump lower lip currently mangled by straight white teeth. She failed miserably.

“I don’t think that partners necessarily need to have everything in common,” Ben finally said, so adorably earnest that Leslie’s heart ached. “That would be kind of boring, actually. But if you got the feeling that he couldn’t accept that part of you then why should you settle for him? It’s your heart on the line here.”

Leslie looked at him, her heart thumping heavily in her chest. This guy was so perfect it almost hurt. Leslie looked down at the counter top to prevent Ben seeing her feelings plain as day in her eyes. A sad smile curled her lips. “You’re right. It is.”

“The next guy will be a new chance,” Ben tried to cheer her up. Leslie snorted. Six guys in and she’d found fault with each and every one of them. Maybe she was too demanding.

Shaking her head, Leslie let that thought go and smiled at Ben. “Let’s just hope the next one won’t hate Ruth Bader Ginsburg.”

The good news was that Greg didn’t hate Ruth Bader Ginsburg or himself or even women for that matter, but dear Lord on a pogo stick, if Leslie heard one more time about this glorious ex-girlfriend of his, she would stab someone with her toothpick.

Greg, currently firefighter in training, was still hung up on his ex, glorious police officer Chelsea, and couldn’t stop telling Leslie all about their good times together and alternately bursting into tears. What had April been thinking, setting her up with a guy who was obviously still hung up on his ex? April met and knew the strangest guys, that was for sure.

At the moment, she had a sobbing Greg on her shoulder who was ruining Leslie’s shirt while Leslie patted his head and tried to console the man. Leslie’s gaze traveled through the bar and caught Ben’s, who was polishing glasses. He quirked an eyebrow at Leslie and looked pointedly at Greg. She just shook her head and gave Ben a self-deprecating smile and mouthed, “Tell you later” before she looked down at Greg, only to give him a tissue, which he took gratefully to clean his nose. Then he started to babble at Leslie, apologizing profusely for being such a mess and that this had clearly been a bad idea and it definitely wasn’t Leslie’s fault but he, Greg, was clearly not ready for a new relationship right now and would it be possible for Leslie to call Greg a cab?

It was the most exhausting two hours of Leslie’s life to date, but in the end, she maneuvered Greg into a cab, told him for the sixth time that it was no problem and it was okay, assuring Greg again that he needn’t take the blame because he couldn’t help how he felt, and finally closed the door and let the cab take off. She took a deep breath of the cold Pawnee air, shivering slightly in only her shirt and pants before she made her way back inside and straight to the bar where Ben was already waiting for her with a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri. Leslie grinned at him gratefully and took a sip.

“How come you never drink alcohol?” Ben asked, curiously cocking his head to the side.

Leslie snorted. “And be a blubbering mess like my date just now?” she quipped, then shook her head. “I drink it sometimes, just not in public unless I’m with people I trust. I had a bad experience in high school.”

“You seem to have had a lot of bad experiences in high school,” Ben said, a bit cautious. Leslie froze, her drink halfway to her mouth. She thought about that for a minute, remembered the bullying and a boy forcing a kiss on her, the shunning for being who she was, the attacks and harassment.

“I guess I have,” she conceded, toasting Ben and then drowning her drink in one go. Ben’s eyes were concerned now but he took the glass when Leslie held it out for him.

“If you want to talk...” he started but tapered off when Leslie frowned. In all honesty, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to talk about it, but Ben always seemed to make it so easy to confide in him. Still, this was a chapter of Leslie’s life that she very rarely, if ever, liked to revisit. So, she shook her head and Ben nodded, going back to mixing Leslie’s drink in silence. Leslie got the feeling that Ben wanted to say something else, but he never did. He just put the glass on the counter and asked Leslie what the crying had been all about. Leslie laughed a little, then proceeded to tell him everything.

It was in the quiet of her house about two hours later that Leslie started to question herself and her motives here. When had she started to talk to Ben as if they’d been friends for years? And why did it never feel like a hardship to tell him about some of the more painful parts of her past? She had confessed things to him that she’d only ever told her mother, and some things she hadn’t told anyone at all. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest, already knowing the answer, but Leslie quashed it down ruthlessly. She wouldn’t go there. She just wouldn’t.

After she’d laughed at April for hours on end, Ann promised her she would send a more suitable guy her way who was definitely not mooning over anyone, all the while ignoring April’s protests that he’d seemed fine for Christ’s sake, how could she have known he was still hung up on someone else?

Leslie’s next date’s name was Simon. He was a year older than Leslie, almost finished with law school and on the fast track to becoming a corporate lawyer in his father’s firm. He was a little puzzled that Leslie insisted on meeting in a bar instead of the upscale restaurant Simon had originally wanted to go to but readily agreed after Leslie explained that she’d prefer meeting in a familiar setting where she was at ease.

Simon was charming from the very start. He was a handsome man with lightly tousled, honey blond hair - no doubt a very expensive haircut was to thank for the illusion of simplicity – ocean blue eyes and a smile that showed white, even teeth. His voice was a lovely baritone and he didn’t hold back with compliments on Leslie’s wardrobe and hairstyle, making Leslie blush profusely. He was charismatic, cordial and a little flirty. All in all, Simon set her at ease within a matter of minutes of meeting him and Leslie felt herself relax.

Simon talked a bit about his lectures and how much he was looking forward to working his own cases. He was ambitious, no question about it, but Leslie liked ambition in a guy.

After they’d talked about their current professional engagements, Leslie asked Simon about his childhood, where he’d grown up. Simon laughed.

“I have to admit, I had it easy,” he said. “My parents are wealthy and I went to private schools where I received the best education. I knew very early on that I wanted to become a lawyer like my father, and I wanted to go to the same university in Indianapolis that he attended, so here I am.”

Leslie smiled, looking at Simon’s hand encircling a glass of Chardonnay. His fingers slid up and down the delicate stem and Leslie could feel the color creep into her cheeks. When she looked up, she was met with a smirk. Her blush deepened but she couldn’t stop the smile either. Good to know that Simon seemed to be interested, as it would have been very awkward if Leslie were the only one getting some good vibes here.

“What about you?” Simon asked, taking a sip from his wine. “How did you end up in Pawnee of all places?”

Leslie shrugged slightly and raised a hand for a waitress. She debated briefly if she was comfortable enough with Simon to order a glass of wine as well but when the waitress appeared next to their table, she stuck with her non-alcoholic beverage.

“I grew up in Pawnee,” Leslie answered after the waitress had left them. “I love it. It’s the best city in the world.”

Leslie’s eyes were drawn to the bar and Ben, who put a number of drinks on a tray, including Leslie’s virgin Strawberry Daiquiri. He looked up briefly and winked at Leslie who couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips. Simon noticed and turned around to find out what was so amusing. When he caught sight of Ben, his jaw tightened for a second before he turned back to Leslie, his face carefully blank.

Something changed at that moment. At first Leslie didn’t even notice. It was just strange little barbs here and there about the establishment and the poor service - for all the times Leslie had been there, bad service had never been an issue - which Leslie dismissed as Simon being raised by rich parents and being used to posher bars and customer service.

Then Simon started touching Leslie, getting in her personal space without any warning, which confused her and made her slightly wary. While the interest had been obvious on both their sides, this sudden increase in public display of affection just didn’t fit with the subtle flirtation they had been engaging in before. Leslie tried to get a glimpse of Ben to signal him that she might need rescue if this got worse, but couldn’t make him out behind the bar. Great, the one time she actually needed his services was when he was out on a break. Fantastic.

But then Ben entered from the back, carrying a case with fresh bottles of beer and Leslie relaxed slightly, knowing her knight in shining armor was only a shout away.

Simon seemed to have followed her gaze. He snorted and raised an eyebrow at Leslie. “You know him?”

Leslie shook her head. “Only in passing. He’s the bartender.”

“Oh, is that what he’s doing these days?” Simon’s tone was decidedly condescending. Leslie didn’t like it at all.

“What do you mean?” she asked, her eyes traveling to Ben for a moment before coming back to Simon who looked almost smug.

“We used to study together at college before he dropped out of our program. The loser never could catch up with the rest of us law students. I’m not surprised he ended up here tending bar.”

Something in Leslie sat up and took notice at Simon’s words, but a bigger part was extremely offended on Ben’s behalf. She knew that Ben was a student at some point - he’d said as much after he’d offered Leslie his help and Ben didn’t strike her as someone who would lie about stuff like that - so whatever strange idea Simon had of Ben was definitely false.

“You’re, what, a year apart? Do you even know him?” Leslie asked, trying to tamp down her rising anger. 

Simon didn’t seem to notice. He just snorted again and waved dismissively. “Why should I bother? He’s a college drop out. His parents must be so proud. He probably lacks the intelligence to study law, so he’s definitely not worth my time.”

At that, Leslie snapped. “Are you kidding me?” she bit out, louder than she’d wanted to but not sorry either. “Did you even try to understand the reasons why he might have dropped out?”

Simon looked at her, surprised. “No, and frankly I don’t care. He’s not exactly on the path to glory,” Simon said, honestly perplexed. That was the last straw for Leslie.

“If he is beneath you, what would you make of my town and where I come from? For that matter, am I even in your league? After all, I didn’t study law either, I’m just a lowly local government employee in a small town in Indiana. According to you, that doesn’t put me on the path to glory either.”

Simon sat there, frozen in place and clearly uncomfortable with the attention Leslie was drawing. Leslie really couldn’t give a shit. Simon tried to put a reassuring smile on his face. “Relax, Leslie. I didn’t mean to offend you,” he tried to soothe her. He waved vaguely in Ben’s direction and added, “He’s really not worth fighting over. Believe me, even his parents and his old town think so.” 

Simon tried to take her hand, but Leslie shot up from her seat, leaned on her hands and seethed in between gritted teeth. “You’re a sanctimonious asshole I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole and I’d appreciate it if you would leave now.”

The stunned look on Simon’s face took Leslie by surprise. Had nobody ever talked to him like that? Had nobody ever disagreed with him? It would certainly explain a lot, especially his disparaging comments he flung left and right without seeming to realize that they were hurtful. He was probably used to getting whatever he wanted too. Well, he couldn’t have Leslie, that was for sure. Nobody who could speak so dismissively about another person was worth Leslie’s time or affection, especially not when they trashed a man who had been nothing but kind to Leslie the entire time they’d known each other.

“I...” Simon started, then didn’t seem to know how to continue. Leslie just crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

“Frankly, I don’t give a shit. If you don’t leave then I will. Have a nice evening and don’t bother calling me again.” 

She grabbed her coat, turned and made a straight beeline for the bar where Ben was staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face. His gaze flickered briefly over Leslie’s shoulder - probably to Simon, not that Leslie cared - before reaching for a glass to make Leslie her usual drink. Leslie slid onto a stool in front of Ben, resolutely not turning around to check if Simon had left yet, and gave Ben a grateful smile when he set her drink down in front of her.

“Not to be inappropriately curious, but what was that all about?” Ben asked after Leslie had taken a sip. It was obvious that he didn’t want to pry but had heard enough to get that it had pissed Leslie off majorly. If she believed Simon, Ben had to at least know him from around campus.

“He was an asshole, is all,” Leslie replied curtly, trying to squash the conversation.

Ben sighed and replied. “Yeah, he always was.”

That got Leslie’s attention. Shooting Ben a curious look, she asked the burning question. “You know each other?”

Ben made a face, studiously not looking at Leslie and cleaning the counter top instead. “I was studying law before I changed my grad school program. Plus, our parents frequented the same social circles. We knew each other from the town I used to live in.”

Now Leslie was definitely intrigued. “What are you studying now?”

Ben hesitated, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation, before he seemed to give up his inner struggle. “I’m not sure yet. I wanted give myself some time to figure things out and choose something I actually like, instead of appeasing everyone else.”

Something warm unfurled in Leslie’s chest. Yes, she could see that. The little she’d gathered from Ben during their short acquaintance was a caring nature, a thoughtful nature, someone who didn’t make hasty decisions on a whim. Law didn’t seem to fit him, that was for sure.

“That’s... well, whatever it is, it’s definitely a long way from law,” Leslie decided to comment and Ben just drew up his shoulders, clearly defensive.

“I finished my accounting degree for my undergrad. I thought maybe law school would be a good for me,” he explained, not looking at Leslie who desperately wanted to ask what had happened to him. “I never fit in with the law students and the subject was beyond me but I tried to stick with it because my dad wanted me to become a lawyer like him. I tried for two years, studied as hard as I could even though, at times, the subject matter made no sense to me. It was always difficult. Then I realized that I was doing it for someone else and not myself, and so I quit.”

He stopped after that, a look of pain flashing through his eyes. Leslie wanted to grab his hand, wanted to reassure him or maybe just hug him but Ben didn’t look like he’d appreciate it. So, all Leslie did was keep talking. “I take it he didn’t react very well. Your dad, I mean.”

A bitter little smile twisted Ben’s mouth and Leslie’s heart ached.

“You could say that,” he mumbled, shooting Leslie a quick look. “My parents and I have always been rocky at best, and he wanted me to become a lawyer to sort of undo my past, I guess. But quitting sort of pushed things over the edge and I haven’t spoken to him since.” Suddenly he spread his arms and gave Leslie a fake smile. “So here I am, trying to figure out what I’m going to do next.”

Leslie stared at him, not sure what to say to that. She ached for Ben who clearly had lost quite a lot just to be able to be free, but on the other hand she was fiercely proud of this man.

“I think you’re very brave,” Leslie said quietly, her gaze not wavering when Ben looked at her incredulously. When he realized that Leslie meant what she’d said, he lowered his arms, sighed deeply and shook his head.

“I’m not brave,” Ben confessed, equally quiet. “I’m just stubborn. Always gets me into trouble.”

Leslie sensed that there was another story there but decided not to pry. Instead, she smiled at Ben and raised her glass. “Well, there are worse things than being stubborn. Being a sanctimonious asshole, for example.”

The laugh came so sudden that Leslie couldn’t help herself but stare at Ben. Fuck, this guy was so amazing and probably didn’t even know it. The laugh lit up his whole face and his eyes sparkled.

Leslie wanted to kiss him.

She froze. Oh no. Please, just... no. Not another crush-on-a-taken-guy debacle! She’d had enough of those during high school. She shook herself out of that alarming thought and smiled instead at Ben’s amusement.

“Well,” Ben said when he stopped laughing, though his eyes were still sparkling with amusement. “I guess we won’t see much of him anymore, will we?”

“Definitely not,” Leslie said vehemently. “I’m just a little alarmed that I’m now eight guys down the line and still haven’t found anyone I’d even want to have a second date with. This is getting out of hand.”

Ben’s grin dimmed down to a soft smile. “Sometimes it just takes a little time to find that special someone who will be just right for you.”

Something caught in Leslie’s throat and she looked up at Ben. Was that... did he just flirt? But no, Ben looked at her the same way he’d always looked at her: a little amused, a lot fond and always eager to lend her a sympathetic ear.

Great, now she was starting to hear things she wanted to hear. It was high time she found someone who could hold her interest for longer than five minutes. Why couldn’t any of the guys she met be even remotely as interesting as Ben clearly was? There were so many facets she didn’t know about him but desperately wanted to learn. It was frustrating and depressing.

Leslie covered that sobering thought with a small smile for Ben and emptied her drink in one go. “I suppose. Let’s just hope he’s actually out there for me to find.”

The strange expression on Ben’s face at those words puzzled Leslie long after she’d gone home.


	6. Chapter 6

“So far, I’ve got to say… this whole dating business was a total wash.”

It had been nine weeks since she’d last met up with her friends and the plan to set Leslie up had been formed. After meeting up with and rejecting a new guy every week, she’d called a time out and begged the girls to go out with her before the last round of meetings started and she completely lost her mind.

April scoffed. “That’s because you’re a picky little bastard.”

Leslie gave her a flat stare. “Oh, and that psycho you set me up with the first time had nothing to do with it?”

April rolled her eyes but ducked her head. “I talked to him after and told him it’d be in his best interest to sort himself out,” she said, shooting Leslie a defensive look. “He agreed. At least Greg didn’t hate himself.”

Leslie snorted. “It’s best if we don’t mention Greg, okay?”

Ann snorted and April shook her head. “Yeah, whatever. He sucked, you win. Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” Leslie said, voice flat.

“I didn’t send you any psychos.” Donna pointed out, then grinned into her drink. 

“No, you sent me a guy who hated Ruth Bader Ginsburg!” Leslie shot back and Donna grimaced.

“How was I supposed to know he didn’t like her?” she exclaimed, then looked down at the table. “He is a math teacher, after all. Don’t think I ever met one with a political bone in their body.”

Jen patted her shoulder in sympathy, then opened her mouth to no doubt state her opinion on her chosen dates, but Leslie prevented her by raising an authoritative hand and shook her head. “You don’t have a say here. You sent me a self-involved idiot and a twelve-year-old.”

Jen’s mouth snapped shut and she glared at Leslie, then crossed her arms and pouted. April snickered and raised her glass to toast nobody in particular before she drained it.

“I wish I could say I sent you the perfect guy,” Ann piped up, looking contemplatively into her own glass. “But I actually know that I haven’t.” She looked up at Leslie and smiled apologetically. “Calvin was actually just someone I knew would be nice to you if nothing else, after that thing with Christopher.”

Leslie smiled at her and waved her hand dismissively. “He succeeded in that, at least. And who could’ve known that Simon would turn out to be such an asshole?”

“What exactly did he do?” April asked, signaling the waitress for another drink. “You never said.”

Leslie’s jaw tightened just at the memory. “He was incredibly rude to the bartender of the bar we went to. Apparently, they knew each other from before and Simon didn’t approve of his life choices. He practically dissed my own choices in the process as well.”

Donna and Jen winced, knowing that talking down on Leslie was a surefire way to get a dressing down. April just laughed. “Good, serves the ass right. I told Jen that you wouldn’t go for him.”

Leslie sighed, putting her chin on her fist. “The thing is: he was totally nice in the beginning until he decided to discredit someone who had to work and make different life choices that he felt were beneath him. I just... it came out of nowhere and he was so... arrogant. He was lucky I didn’t kick him in the nuts.”

Jen snorted into her drink while Donna laughed outright. April patted Leslie’s shoulder. “Good for you. I never liked him anyway. Too polished and fake, if you ask me.”

“That he definitely was,” Leslie agreed, toasted April and her newly arrived drink and emptied hers in one go.

“The thing is,” Jen said, grimacing slightly. “I actually have the perfect guy for you in mind but I can’t get him to agree to a blind date.”

Leslie flashed briefly to Ben and that he’d be perfect too if he weren’t taken or gay or whatever he was, then dismissed the thought. No sense in dwelling on what could never be.

“His loss,” Donna quipped and startled Leslie with her timing, until she realized she was talking about Jen’s mystery guy who didn’t like blind dates. “He has to be stupid not to want to meet our Leslie. She’s such a ray of sunshine, after all.”

“Oh, bite me,” Leslie shot back but grinned at her. She tossed Donna an air kiss.

“So,” she continued their earlier topic of conversation. “What have you ladies planned for the last round of guys? Because I’ve got to tell you, if none of them work out, I’m giving up and will go back to being happily single.”

The girls exchanged glances before they all grinned at her. Leslie knew their answer before they even opened their mouths.

“No way we’re telling you.”

“Where would be the surprise in that?”

“Seriously, Knope, you’re not even trying to be spontaneous.”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Leslie interrupted, raising her hands in defeat. “Just please, for the love of everything, choose someone I’d actually want to spend an evening with.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Donna waved her concerns away. “You’ll love the guys we’re going to pick.”

Robert was... not what Leslie had been expecting.

This time around, Ann had picked well when it came to appearances and age. He was three years older than Leslie, almost a head taller, had a deep voice, broad shoulders, trim waist, a shock of black hair and kind brown eyes. When he smiled, he flashed a dimple and Leslie was charmed almost from the moment she sat down to chat.

She should’ve known it wouldn’t last, really. They’d barely got the basics out of the way - where they’d grown up, what they were doing job wise right now, where they lived - when Robert grabbed Leslie’s hand, looked deep into her eyes and proclaimed in a serious voice. “You know, I happen to have some psychic abilities.”

Leslie stared, her hand slack in Robert’s grip. “Um... that’s... nice?” she said after a lengthy pause. But really, what could you say to something like that?

Robert smiled at her, clearly encouraged. “It’s really quite fascinating,” he continued, not realizing that Leslie tried to get her hand back. “There’s this spirit in my closet. I’ve been trying to get in contact with it for a month now but it’s reluctant to talk to me. It’s probably shy.”

Leslie blinked and continued to stare at him, still not quite sure she wasn’t dreaming this. She’d known that the men Ann associated with were strange sometimes but this... this was a whole new level of weird that even Leslie had never encountered before.

“I’ve also tried my hand at being a medium,” Robert said then, looking intensely at Leslie. “And I’ve got the feeling that there’s someone you miss terribly. The spirits are whispering to me, you know?”

“That’s...” Leslie began, then trailed off. She wanted to say ‘crazy’ but really, right now she was still at a loss for words at the bizarreness of it all. “I’d rather not rush into anything,” she finally settled on and Robert gave her this soft, almost creepily understanding look that made Leslie uncomfortable as hell. At least Robert let go of her hand after patting it consolingly. Leslie gave him a weak smile in thanks.

The evening pretty much went south from there.

Robert got into the topic of higher planes of consciousnesses, communicating with the deceased, trying to move objects with his mind and that it wasn’t working quite so well just yet because he hadn’t mastered that level of tranquility you needed for that type of telekinesis, and a whole host of other bullshit as far as Leslie was concerned. Leslie had to admit that she was fascinated in a twisted way, probably more out of morbid curiosity at how far gone a man of Robert’s age could be than real interest in the topic. She did cast a searching glance through the bar at one point and caught Ben’s eye, who threw her a questioning look right back and a subtle head nod at Robert. Leslie couldn’t do more than bug her eyes a little, shrug her shoulders and signal with her head that she really had no idea what to do here.

Thankfully, Robert excused himself at one point to go to the bathroom. Leslie took the opportunity to scramble out of her seat and over to the bar where Ben was already waiting.

“What’s going on?” Ben greeted her, but she could only shake her head. 

Casting a furtive glance over her shoulder, she leaned over the bar and hissed. “I think that man is one sandwich short of a picnic.”

Ben bit his lip. “Excuse me?” he choked out, clearly trying to bite down on a laugh. Leslie glared at him.

“He wants to contact my father for me because he thinks he can talk to the dead!” she whispered furiously. “Oh, and did you know that sex on a higher plane is so much more satisfying than the regular kind?” At Ben’s incredulous stare, Leslie nodded gravely. “Oh yes, I’ve heard all about it. I just can’t decide if it’s entertaining, very sad or horribly creepy. And not to mention extremely insulting to me that Ann thought I’d appreciate a guy who wants to have psychic sex with me.”

Ben obviously lost it at that point. Hiding his face in his towel, he snorted out a laugh. When he caught Leslie’s look of disbelief, he shook his head as if to apologize, then dissolved into a full belly laugh. For some reason, Leslie couldn’t really be offended by that. Ben laughing was a sight to behold, after all, not to mention that it was infectious as hell. Leslie found her mouth twitching before she gave into a wide grin while looking at Ben, who was desperately trying to get himself back in control.

“I have to admit it sounds rather ridiculous when I retell it,” Leslie said when Ben let out a long breath. The big smile was still on his face though.

“I assume he’s not a keeper, then?” Ben asked, probably knowing the answer before Leslie even shook her head.

“I’m not that desperate.”

“Good,” Ben said, then leaned over the bar, slid his hand over Leslie’s cheek and tipped her head up before pressing his lips to Leslie’s in a soft kiss.

Leslie froze and stopped breathing altogether for a moment before her brain caught up with what was happening. Then she realized that Ben was kissing her here and that, as chaste as the kiss was, it felt better than anything Leslie had ever felt in her entire life. It was pure instinct that made her raise her hand to slide it up into Ben’s hair at the back of his head, draw him in closer and open her mouth slightly. Ben’s breath hitched, just for a second, before his mouth opened as well. They shared a breath or two, neither of them taking it further. Leslie’s grip in Ben’s hair tightened, anticipating the moment their tongues would touch and _how_ did they even get here?

“Leslie?”

She jerked back from Ben as if she had been slapped. For a second she could concentrate on nothing but Ben’s lips, red and plush and wet and she wanted to lean back in and continue kissing him.

“Sorry, man,” Ben’s voice said. Leslie could only stare at his mouth, forming the words and fuck, why were they no longer kissing? “It’s just... Leslie and I used to date and when I saw her come in with you, I realized that I never should’ve let her go and I... well, I guess I got jealous and told her I didn’t want her to date other guys, that I still wanted her and... sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your date.”

It took Leslie a moment to get with the program. When the words Ben spoke finally made sense to her, she frowned, then looked up. Ben’s gaze was solely focused on someone standing behind Leslie; he appeared sheepish and a little embarrassed. Leslie looked over her shoulder and came face to face with Robert who... looked more intrigued than hurt. It should’ve been a warning, really, but Leslie was still stuck on the fact that Ben had kissed her and told Robert that they used to... oh. 

_Oh._

It had been a ploy to get Leslie out of her date with Robert.

Something in Leslie’s chest froze up at the realization that the kiss had not been real, had just been a means to an end and Leslie had bought it.

So had Robert, apparently. Giving both Leslie and Ben a smile, he leaned against the counter. “You know, I wouldn’t be opposed to a threesome - ”

“Oh my God, _no_!” Leslie yelped immediately. Robert reeled back at her adamant answer. Leslie sighed, massaging her temple and trying to stomp down the hurt currently churning in her chest. “I’m sorry that I led you on, truly I am, but... I still have feelings for Ben too.” _Understatement of the century._ “It wouldn’t be fair to you, and neither of us is into sharing our partners, so...”

She trailed off there, shrugging slightly. She hoped her look signaled her remorse about stomping on Robert’s feelings like that and not for what the look truly meant - that she felt hurt, a bit betrayed, hollowed out really. Then she berated herself quietly. What did she expect? Ben was taken or something equally inaccessible, after all. He’d offered to help Leslie by any means necessary to get out of unpleasant dates. Granted, this was an unusual way to do it, but it had been highly effective.

Robert looked first at Leslie, then Ben, then back at Leslie before he nodded and smiled, a little sadly. “Well, it was still nice meeting you,” he offered, putting out his hand for Leslie to shake, who did so reluctantly.

“And if you want me to contact anyone from the other plane - ”

“You’ll be the first I’m going to call,” Leslie assured him hastily. Honestly, why couldn’t he just _leave_ already?

Robert gave one final head nod to Ben before going back to their table to grab his jacket. Leslie tracked his way to the door before she felt strong enough to turn back around and face Ben.

Who looked slightly uncomfortable, avoiding Leslie’s stare while studiously polishing the wood of the counter top. A weird, decidedly charged silence hovered between them before Ben bit his lip - she’d tasted those lips, had felt them move under her own - and blurted out, “I’m sorry.”

Leslie’s heart skipped a beat, then thudded painfully when Ben continued. “I didn’t know what else to do to get rid of him quick and painlessly. I should’ve asked you first if it was okay to kiss you but I didn’t have time.”

“It’s fine,” Leslie replied, her voice almost normal. It probably only sounded this hollow to her own ears. Ben was still not looking at her, instead scratching the back of his head - she knew now what Ben’s hair felt like under her fingertips - and looking down the counter to the other end of the bar. He waved vaguely in that direction. “I have to - ”

“Go ahead,” Leslie interrupted and tried not to feel hurt when Ben hurried away. She looked at his back, tried to read him but had no luck. Leslie sighed, gave up after ten minutes and signaled another waiter so she could settle her tab. 

She left the bar without a backward glance, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in her chest and the painful thudding of her heart. Ben didn’t want her, just like every guy she’d ever been seriously interested in. Why should Ben have been the exception? Really, Leslie should grow up and stop putting her hopes into hopeless cases.

Her heart, however, was slower on the uptake than her mind and didn’t stop beating painfully the whole way home and throughout the night.


	7. Chapter 7

The incident replayed over and over in her head the next few days. She looked at it from every possible angle but still couldn’t really make sense of it. In the heat of the moment, Ben’s reasoning had made sense, but in the cold light of day it was an extremely strange choice for an unavailable guy to try and dissuade the advances of an unwanted date by kissing her. It just didn’t make a lot of sense. Adding to that the feeling was that Ben had been flirting with her for a while now and that gave Leslie a strange sense of hope.

She’d have liked to think further on this but she’d made the mistake of telling Ann that her friend was not the right choice for Leslie, which of course meant she’d told Donna who promptly set her up with her last date. Leslie tried to refuse because on the one hand, she’d kissed Ben and Ben had kissed her and she really wanted to see if that could go anywhere, and on the other hand she was getting tired of dating strangers who never suited her. She didn’t want to hear of it though and hung up on her before she could formulate another argument.

Unfortunately, Leslie had never really bothered to find out whether Ben worked during the week, or she would’ve tried to corner him when Leslie wasn’t on a date. On top of that, her work was absolutely crazy that week and later she couldn’t even tell anymore what had happened between Tuesday morning and Thursday afternoon except that they’d had to make way too many last minute changes for an upcoming event, and it was just a complete nightmare. By the time Friday night and Leslie’s date rolled around, she’d almost forgotten that she’d wanted to talk to Ben beforehand.

Of course, that was not meant to be. She met John in front of the bar and they went inside together. While John was looking for a free table, Leslie tried to find Ben behind the bar but couldn’t see him. He was probably in the back again. Leslie sighed, then followed John to a table.

Leslie decided pretty early on that John was just not right for her. For one, he had the worst teeth Leslie had ever seen. It was pretty callous, she had to admit, but leaving that fact aside, John also didn’t seem to be able to sit at a table without accidentally breaking things. It was probably a good thing that he taught English and not something like Chemistry. Those poor students wouldn’t survive the school year with such a clumsy teacher.

It seemed Leslie was in luck as John didn’t seem to be too excited about their date either. He confessed after half an hour or so that Leslie was too masculine for him - Leslie bristled internally, but kept her game face on - and to be honest, she never really wanted to go on the date to begin with, she’d done it as a favor to Donna. They parted more or less amicably and John left the bar after one last handshake. Leslie let out a slow, cleansing breath before she looked once again at the bar. This time she spotted Ben right away, talking to another customer.

Leslie remained seated, contemplating what she should do, if she should confront Ben about her speculations. In the end, she didn’t see how it could hurt, got up and made her way over. Ben spotted her halfway there and gave her a short smile, just like he always did. Leslie’s resolve wavered a little at that.

“I see you got rid of that one all by yourself,” Ben greeted Leslie and put her virgin Strawberry Daiquiri in front of her. Leslie looked down at the drink, her fingertips ghosting over the stem before grabbing the glass and taking a sip.

“He said I was too masculine for him,” Leslie said after a moment, waiting for Ben’s reaction.

He frowned, looking at Leslie. “Really? You don’t look masculine to me.”

“Good to know,” Leslie mumbled and earned herself a confused glance. Leslie just shook her head and nipped on her drink.

“Well, at least you’re not completely discouraged and continue to date,” Ben said when Leslie didn’t say anything more. Leslie looked up at him, but she only saw honest relief on Ben’s face. Surely if he’d been even a little bit interested in Leslie, it would show on his face.

“Are you okay?” Ben’s worried voice cut through her thoughts. “You’re awfully quiet tonight.”

Leslie snorted quietly. When would she finally grow up? Ben was unattainable, and whatever Leslie had thought she’d sensed, or thought she’d seen, it had all been in her head. Just wishful thinking, like it had always been when she’d crushed on a guy. Ben was no more interested in her than Mark had been.

She downed her glass in one gulp and gently put it back down on the counter top. “Just tired,” she replied after a moment. “It’s been one of those weeks.”

Ben visibly hesitated, then, “I know how those go.”

Leslie smiled tiredly at him, then left a bunch of dollar notes on the counter. “See you next week.”

“See you,” Ben’s voice drifted after her, his confusion obvious. Leslie didn’t have the strength to explain herself. She was tired, and drained, and right now she just wanted to go home and curl up in her bed, feeling sorry for herself.

Because Leslie was... well, for Leslie, her pity party lasted no longer than a day before she shook herself out of her mood. So, Ben had been his usual polite, helpful self after giving her a kiss Leslie would forever measure other kisses against. So what? Ben might think he was taken, but no taken guy went so pliant after another woman grabbed his head and responded to the kiss in the manner Ben did, even the really helpful ones who put up a front of being someone’s fake boyfriend. It just didn’t add up in Leslie’s head.

Of course, work that week kicked her ass even more than before, and after the previous week, that was saying a lot. She completely forgot that April had set her up with a date for that Friday until the man rang her up, trying to confirm their date. He sounded nice, at any rate. Leslie was still preoccupied with her work crisis and Ben so she agreed to meet up before she could think things through - mainly that she’d rather have pursued this thing with Ben, if there was even a slight chance he might like Leslie like that.

She only realized that she’d agreed to another, probably excruciating date after she’d hung up, and for a moment she groaned and wallowed in self pity. She was so damn tired of this dating bullshit. She’d rather sit at home for a change instead of dolling herself up and spend her time with a guy she didn’t know, and who would fail to impress her. She allowed herself a few seconds to feel sorry for herself before she put the date out of her mind. She could get rid of the guy easily if she set her mind to it, no problem. Then one of her fellow employees caught her attention and Leslie forgot all about it.

By Friday, Leslie was exhausted and totally not in the mood for a date, but she gritted her teeth and dressed up, keeping in mind that she just had to get this over with and then she could talk to Ben and maybe get the real date started.

Leslie was still thinking about how to approach Ben about this while she walked down the street to the bar. She rubbed her temples, trying to stave off the lingering headache that had been her faithful companion since early afternoon. She just hoped she didn’t have to deal with a complete creeper who went on and on. It would be hard enough to feign interest until she could get rid of him.

Someone’s laugh rang out through the night and Leslie looked up. She was still a fair distance away from the bar and a couple was standing at the front doors, hugging. The woman’s back was turned to Leslie and in the darkness, she couldn’t really make out her features. She caught a glimpse of brown hair that was about shoulder length, maybe longer. The winter coat she was wearing looked expensive. The guy with her didn’t look dressed even remotely appropriate for the cold temperatures.

Leslie squinted at her, trying to remember if she’d seen her before because she seemed oddly familiar. But she never turned around quite enough for her to make out more than the back of her head and part of her cheekbone. The pair separated after a moment and she gave her companion a kiss on the cheek, then let go of him and took a step back until the lights of the bar lit up the guy’s features.

It was Ben.

Ben, looking at her, maybe smiling - it was hard to tell in this light - and clearly not minding her attentions. She turned in the opposite direction of Leslie and walked down the street, waving over her shoulder and shouted. “Love you!”

Ben laughed and shouted back “Ditto!” before he turned around and went back into the bar. Neither of them had noticed Leslie who stood frozen in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at the now empty space. When another pedestrian jostled her shoulder, she came back to herself and took a stumbling step forward, then derailed and leaned against the brick wall of a nearby building.

Ben had a girlfriend. Ben had a girlfriend who was rich and beautiful and who he obviously loved and Leslie could never compete against a woman like that. The little hope she’d had all week shattered and died in her chest, leaving her gasping for breath. She would not start crying in the middle of the street over a guy who’d never even told Leslie she might stand a chance. She simply refused to be that tacky.

It took her almost ten minutes to breathe through the pain and compose herself, put her game face on, before she felt strong enough to enter the bar and meet her date.

Her _date_. Oh fuck, how was she supposed to get through that now?

Leslie took one last breath to steel herself before she opened the door to the bar and entered it with her polite mask in place. She scanned the room and stopped at a table with a guy that matched April’s description of Gabriel: dark hair, dark eyes, dark complexion. He looked exotic, a little bit nervous but altogether harmless. Leslie could do this. At least he wasn’t hideous.

Leslie put on a polite smile and made her way over to Gabriel, not bothering to check if Ben was behind the counter. Instead, she shrugged off her coat and slid into the seat opposite her date. 

“Gabriel?” Leslie asked, just to be sure.

The guy looked at her, then nodded and held out his hand. “Leslie?”

Leslie’s smile turned a touch warmer at the smooth, deep voice saying her name. Okay, this wasn’t so bad. She could do this. “Yes. Hi. Sorry I’m late, I got delayed at work.” Technically not true, as her delay had more to do with finding out that Ben had a girlfriend and Leslie had to cope with all her hopes shattered at her feet but Gabriel didn’t need to know that.

“It’s fine,” Gabriel assured her, then smiled tentatively at her. Oh boy, he really was nervous, wasn’t he?

“Did you have trouble finding the bar?” Leslie asked while signaling a waiter. She placed her usual order then turned her attention back to Gabriel who still seemed to think about his answer, before settling on a shake of his head and a smile. Leslie frowned a bit but put this little incident aside.

Gabriel really was quite attractive. He told Leslie that his parents were Venezuelan immigrants and that at thirty-five, he was the youngest out of five kids. His two sisters were married with two kids each, and his two brothers were in law enforcement like he was. After a little prodding, he admitted that he was extremely nervous but was warming up to Leslie.

Gabriel was perfectly polite, a little shy maybe, and seemed very interested in Leslie but it became obvious pretty soon that he wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. He seemed to have a hard time understanding Leslie’s wittier barbs, but he smiled and laughed anyway. He was nice.

But he wasn’t Ben.

Leslie had spotted him at one point, working behind the counter serving customers. She’d caught his eye once and only smiled reassuringly to signal the date went well and no interference was needed. Ben had nodded and went back to work.

The thing was, nobody would ever be Ben. Leslie had to let this go. And Gabriel was perfectly nice. She shouldn’t judge him by the first date alone. Maybe he was just nervous and it translated into appearing less than intelligent. He was probably a normal guy in broad daylight.

The truth was that Leslie needed to make a clean cut here. She would never have Ben, and punishing herself by having every date in the very bar Ben was working in would only cut her deeper and hurt her more in the long run than making a clean break could. It would hurt like hell for a while, as she’d come to think of Ben as a friend, a confidante and conspirator in Leslie’s apparently useless quest to find Mr. Right. Cutting him out of her life would be hard, but Leslie knew herself well enough to see that it was her only option if she ever wanted to get over this stupid crush that never could be.

So, she put her best game face on and gave Gabriel her full attention. Gabriel made her laugh when he started talking about his big family and what a typical gathering looked like. Leslie never really had a big family and was therefore fascinated and horrified in equal measures.

“So, then my sister grabs him by the back of his neck, shakes him and starts yelling at him. And the poor kid didn’t even know what was going on because it was my brother Jesús who’d stolen the cake,” Gabriel said at one point, enthusiastically recounting the incident when his oldest sister had thought her son was to blame for a missing cake that she’d prepared for a bake sale for her daughter’s school. Leslie had to hand it to him: he was definitely a storyteller. Her sides ached a little from laughing so hard.

“My brother, of course, is totally terrified of my sister,” Gabriel continued, waving his hands around. “And he tried to keep it secret that he was the one to blame. Of course, my mother is psychic and just knew when she looked at him. She...” He gasped, dissolving into laughter by the memory alone. “... she grabbed his ear and pulled him all the way to my sister’s house, making him apologize in front of her neighbors. Him, an almost thirty-year-old police officer. He was mortified.”

Leslie almost had tears in her eyes at the end of the tale and they both just sat there, letting the laughter wash over them. Then Gabriel sighed, still grinning, and shook his head. “You see now why I never lie to my mother unless I know for certain that I can get away with it. I’d rather not get dragged through half of the city to apologize to someone.”

“I can’t blame you,” Leslie said, smiling warmly at him. It was obvious by every word that Gabriel loved his family. If nothing else, they had that in common.

In the end, Leslie did have a pleasant evening, and when they said goodbye at the end, she meant it when she said that she had fun. She may have said it more enthusiastically than she’d actually felt but it wasn’t Gabriel’s fault that he wasn’t who Leslie really wanted.

As soon as Gabriel had left the bar, after giving Leslie a shy little kiss on the cheek, Leslie made her way over to the bar and slid into a stool, waiting for Ben to finish with another customer before coming over.

“So, how did it go?” Ben asked as soon as he was at Leslie’s side, already mixing her virgin Strawberry Daiquiri. Leslie watched him, admired his hands - so strong, capable and gorgeous - while he mixed the ingredients together.

“You know, I think it went really well,” she said and looked up at Ben. He had an odd expression on his face but Leslie couldn’t decipher it before he turned to reach for a glass from the shelf.

“You mean he wasn’t weird, crazy or boring?” he asked, back still to Leslie while he arranged the drink. Leslie looked at Ben’s back and the muscles playing under his white shirt. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to let it go.

“No, he was perfectly fine. I think...” she stopped herself, took a deep breath before she closed her eyes and breathed. “I think he might be it.”

It was eerily silent, except for the usual bar chatter, and Leslie opened her eyes. Ben was still turned away, doing something to Leslie’s drink, and just when Leslie wanted to ask him if he was alright, Ben turned, smile in place and handed the drink over. “Really?” he asked, his voice even and honestly curious.

Leslie nodded and looked down at her drink. “I never thought I’d actually meet anyone at this point but I think he’d be good for me.”

She looked up at Ben and was met with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad,” he finally said, smile warming up when he met Leslie’s gaze. “You deserve it.”

“Thank you,” Leslie replied, as evenly as she could, before taking a sip from her drink. “Our second date will probably be in a restaurant. That’ll be a change.” She smiled at Ben, feeling as if it was the fakest smile she’d ever given anyone, but it was either in her head or Ben didn’t notice.

“That’s probably not such a bad idea,” he said, nodding, and cleaned the working space behind the counter. “Definitely more romantic than here, I suppose.”

“True,” Leslie replied. Every word felt like it was ripping her apart, making her bleed all over the counter for all the world and Ben to see except that everyone had turned a blind eye to her pain. She took a deep breath. “Thank you for all your help,” she said at last, looking back up at Ben.

Ben shook his head. “For what? I didn’t do anything.”

“You were there,” Leslie said quietly. “Believe me, knowing that someone had my back was... you’ll probably never know how much that meant to me. So, thank you for that.”

“Anytime,” Ben replied, equally quiet with a small smile curling up his lips. He was back to staring at the counter top. The spell was broken when someone a few seats down the line shouted for Ben. He looked over, then back at Leslie. “I have to...” he said, waving to the guy. Leslie nodded, raising her own drink.

“See you around,” Ben said, staring at Leslie until she nodded again before turning and walking away.

Leslie was pretty sure they both knew that had been a lie.


	8. Chapter 8

Leslie rarely indulged in self pity, and if she did, she never did so longer than a day. However, cutting herself off from Ben was harder than she’d thought it’d be, considering she didn’t even really know the guy all that well. He’d just been a pretty face behind a bar who’d been kind to Leslie when she needed someone. It was kind of sad and said a lot about her life that a little kindness from a stranger meant so much to her that she fell apart a little bit at the prospect of never seeing him again.

Her girls knew that something was wrong, but she didn’t tell them her sorry story about how she’d fallen for the unavailable guy yet again. Instead, she assured them she was fine, just tired from work and oh, did they hear that she would have a second date with Gabriel and wasn’t that great?

They left her alone after that.

Leslie did put a stop to her pity party after a weekend spent in her oldest, most threadbare clothes watching one Friday Night Lights episode after another and eating more ice cream than her waistline could really afford. On Monday, she threw herself into her work which, of course, had calmed down considerably all of a sudden and wasn’t really much of a distraction at all. But the heartache obviously helped Leslie to be creative, so that was at least something.

She made good on her promise and gave Gabriel another chance. Their second date was in a small little Italian restaurant in downtown Pawnee a week after their first one. Gabriel was still very handsome, very polite and very much uneducated. Leslie wasn’t sure if he just wasn’t serious about his education or if he was just unintelligent. Fact was that, no matter how much Leslie wanted to get over this thing she had for Ben, she couldn’t do it with Gabriel. She would go crazy within a week if she had to date him for real. Leslie needed someone who challenged her intellectually, who got her wittier, more sarcastic comments on whatever she’d heard on the news that day. Beauty only got you so far and as attractive as Gabriel was, he wasn’t right for Leslie at all.

Gabriel was, to Leslie’s surprise, quite crushed when she told him they weren’t right for each other. When he asked Leslie to give him another chance, she told him part of the truth and admitted that she was still hung up on this other guy and it wouldn’t be fair to Gabriel if she strung him along. Leslie couldn’t very well tell him that even Jerry was faster on the uptake than Gabriel. That wasn’t polite, and Leslie didn’t have it in her to cut the guy down. It wasn’t his fault, after all, that he wasn’t Ben.

The news that Gabriel didn’t make it past the second date hit her girls hard and they decided that an emergency meeting at Leslie’s house was in order, which was spent with too many chick flicks, too much pizza and definitely too much tequila. In hindsight, Leslie should have known that they would get out the hard stuff, as it ailed any and all heartbreak. Okay, the booze was definitely April’s contribution, and the chick flicks were probably Ann’s idea. The pizza, she admitted, had been a group decision, because all Leslie wanted was comfort food.

After the first few shots of tequila, Leslie became woozy and started to feel a little sorry for herself. Even though she very rarely drank hard alcohol, she did have her weak moments, especially when her girls were involved. And she trusted them to catch her if she fell. After her mother, they were the very few people she trusted almost implicitly. Ben could’ve become someone like that to her, but her stupid crush had destroyed that quite thoroughly.

“I just don’t get it,” April said an indefinite time later when they all had consumed way more alcohol than was probably wise. “You said you liked him. He liked you too. What went wrong?”

“He wasn’t smart,” Leslie slurred, trying to focus on the TV but having trouble getting to match the two pictures up into one. She was pretty sure there should only be one.

“So basically, you are where you’ve been three months ago,” Donna added, throwing back another shot and grimacing. “Single, lonely, and in desperate need of getting laid.”

“Shut up,” Leslie mumbled and buried her face in her arms. Maybe the world would stop spinning if she pretended it wasn’t there.

A hand landed on her back, then Jen’s voice came above her. “Leslie’s had her reasons to reject them. They might not be reasons we understand, but we don’t have to live with the guys.”

“Exactly!” Leslie said, raising her finger to make her point but not emerging from her arms to face them.

“So, what you’re saying is that you’ll celebrate another lonely Christmas,” April cut in, her voice like a bucket of icy water. Leslie raised her head and glared at her.

“Thank you for reminding me that Christmas is imminent,” she bit out. “As if I wasn’t depressed enough already.”

“Hush, you two,” Ann said and smiled at Leslie. “You’ll only ever be as lonely as you make yourself. You have friends and family who love you, Leslie. You’ll never be alone, okay?”

Leslie couldn’t help herself, and the alcohol in her system didn’t make it any easier to fight back the tears. The smile she gave her was wobbly but she meant it nonetheless.

“She’s right, boo,” Donna added, putting her head on Leslie’s shoulder. “It sucks that you don’t have a boyfriend but you’ll always have us.”

“Definitely,” Jen put in her two cents and put her head on her other shoulder. Leslie’s head fell back onto the back of the couch and she closed her eyes while she slung one arm around each girl.

“Thank you, guys.”

They watched the TV for a while after that, comfortable silence cloaking them. Leslie was on the verge of sleep when Jen piped up. “Will you go on your last date, at least?”

Leslie’s eyes popped open and she stared at the ceiling. She wasn’t sure if she even wanted to go out with yet another guy who had lost before she even met him. She looked over at Jen who smiled at her, signaling her that she wouldn’t mind if she declined. It was that smile that convinced her to give it one more shot.

“Sure, why not? Let’s make the crappy dozen complete at least,” she winced when Donna slapped her thigh and glared at her. She glared right back. “No dissing the other guys.”

Leslie rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Ann ignored them both and turned to Jen. “Your guy has to be really special so we can prove Leslie wrong.”

Jen looked a little worried but also contemplative. She rubbed her eyebrow, bit her lip and then nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

For over a week, Leslie didn’t hear anything from Jen whatsoever. She’d probably taken Ann’s demand a little too much to heart and couldn’t find a guy Leslie might like, especially after the disastrous Simon date and Leslie’s proclamation that she was probably not very well suited for lawyers - which pretty much decimated Jen’s circle of acquaintances by at least 75 percent. She would’ve told her to just let it be if she hadn’t sort of promised her girls that she would go on this last of her twelve dates. She was just glad when it was all over and she could go back to being single and miserable instead of dating and being even more miserable.

She was in the middle of planning for an upcoming event when her phone rang, pulling her back to the present. She looked down at her screen, then answered hesitantly when she saw it was Jen.

“Hello, my gorgeous friend,” Leslie greeted her, already knowing what this was about.

“So, this is sort of unusual…”

“Okay?” Leslie replied, more a confused question than a real demand for her to go on.

She heard her take a deep breath, probably mentally preparing herself - for what, Leslie couldn’t even begin to guess - and then spoke. “So, I finally got one of my best friends to agree to go on a date with you. The only two conditions are that it be in a place of his choosing and that it’ll be tonight.”

Leslie frowned, looking down at her planner. It was Saturday and Leslie didn’t really have anything planned, so it wasn’t like she had to cancel anything here. She wasn’t sure if she liked the attitude though.

“This is kind of sudden,” she hedged and didn’t expect Jen to laugh at that.

“You could say that. He’s... kind of shy but a real sweetheart, I swear. I’ve known him for a really long time. I wanted to set the two of you up since the beginning but he didn’t want to. He’s been through kind of a lot in the past and I just want him to be happy and I think you could be the person to make him happy and - ”

“Jen,” Leslie interrupted her. When she fell silent, she added gently. “You’re rambling.”

“I am, aren’t I?” she agreed, then laughed quietly. Leslie couldn’t help but smile. “I just... he means a lot to me, and so do you. I think you’ll get along well, is all.”

“Okay,” Leslie said before she could change her mind. If Jen was so hung up on setting her up with this friend of hers, then she could do her the favor. “So where does he want to meet?”

She let out a breath, probably in relief that she’d agreed without a fight, then told her the address to a small-scale restaurant he knew through Jen’s crowd. It was favored by many because it was good food for affordable prices. It was also pretty close to Leslie’s place.

“Be there at seven tonight, okay?” Jen said.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there,” Leslie promised her.

“Perfect. Good luck.” Then she hung up. Leslie stared at her phone in disbelief, then put it down while shaking her head.

It took her half an hour before she realized she never asked her for the guy’s name.

Leslie was usually of the mind that dressing up was the best way to leave a first impression, but she dressed rather casually for her date. Well, casually for her at any rate. It was just that she was tired of it, after dating constantly for almost fourteen weeks in a row and she wanted to feel comfortable, not putting up too much of a fuss.

Leslie arrived at the restaurant with a few minutes to spare. She wasn’t sure if they were supposed to meet outside or not, but it was freezing so to hell with it, she would wait inside. She looked around when she entered the foyer. There wasn’t really a hostess she could ask if there was a reservation, and at any rate Leslie wouldn’t have been able to tell them a name anyway, seeing as she had no clue and she hadn’t been able to reach Jen after realizing that. Her casual glance over the restaurant patrons didn’t give her the impression of a guy waiting for someone either, so maybe he wasn’t here yet.

She was on the verge of turning around and leaning against the wall near the door to wait for her date when she caught a glimpse of someone familiar. She turned back and almost swallowed her tongue when she saw Ben sitting alone at a table playing with the silverware, clearly nervous and waiting for someone.

Leslie froze, not sure what to do. Should she walk over and talk to him? He was probably waiting for his girlfriend. Maybe she was in the bathroom, or she was late. Leslie should just turn around right now, leave the restaurant and wait for her date outside. It wasn’t worth the heartache, but fuck it! Seeing Ben again was like being able to breathe properly for the first time in two weeks.

In the end, the decision was made for her when Ben looked up and met Leslie’s eyes. He froze as well, taking Leslie in. Then a slow smile bloomed on his face and nothing on this earth could’ve prevented Leslie from walking over there at that moment. She caught herself smiling back and tried to bite down on it while she made her way to Ben’s table, but gave it up as a lost cause pretty fast.

When she arrived there, Ben’s smile had taken on a decidedly nervous edge. Leslie tried to ignore it and put on her best game face. “Fancy meeting you here,” she joked, grabbing the back of the empty chair opposite Ben’s. Ben huffed a laugh.

“Yeah it’s...” He paused, taking Leslie in once again. “It’s really good to see you.”

Leslie had no idea what to do with that, either the words or the tone of voice. She looked over her shoulder, then back to Ben. “Actually, I’m on a date.”

“I know.”

It took Leslie a moment to catch up with the soft words. She furrowed her brows. “Excuse me?”

Ben took a deep breath, closed his eyes, then let the breath out slowly before he met Leslie’s eyes again, sure and frightened all at the same time. “I’m your date, Leslie.”

The world stopped at that moment for her. She stared at Ben, who looked so earnest and scared and hopeful all at the same time. Leslie must have misheard. She couldn’t have... she just couldn’t have heard what she’d just heard. Could she?

“What?” she asked, disbelief coloring her voice.

Ben never stopped looking at her. “I’m your date, Leslie. I... Jen has been one of my best friends since we were young and she wanted to set me up with you since forever. But I always declined because at first, I wasn’t into dating some girl I never met and then I was sort of hung up on _you_ so I definitely didn’t want to date a girl I’ve never met. And I didn’t know it had been you she wanted to set me up with all along otherwise I would’ve said yes the second time she asked me and...”

He trailed off at Leslie’s ongoing silence. Sometime during Ben’s monologue, Leslie had lost the ability to stand and had sunk into the seat in front of her, still staring at Ben as if she’d never seen him before in her entire life. When he suddenly fell silent and looked at Leslie expectantly, Leslie said the first thing that came to her mind.

“I thought you had a girlfriend.”

Ben blinked, looked around as if he expected someone else to turn up that Leslie might be talking to, but when nobody came forward, he turned back to Leslie. “I’m sorry?” he asked, clearly confused.

Leslie felt like an idiot. All the flirting, Ben’s readiness to help her out with her blind dates, the kiss. How had she _ever_ believed Ben was unavailable and not interested in her? In hindsight, it was the most ridiculous thing in the history of ever. Leslie couldn’t help it: she put her hand over her eyes and laughed, at first quietly but pretty soon dissolving into helpless giggles.

“Leslie?” Ben asked, now obviously worried on top of being confused.

“I thought you had a girlfriend,” Leslie said again, throwing her head back to look at the ceiling and trying to prevent the tears forming in her eyes from falling. “This whole time, I thought you were taken. I thought you had a girlfriend!”

“I... what?” Ben fell silent then and Leslie finally had the nerve to look him in the face again. What she saw made her heart skip a beat. Ben was clearly still confused, but there was hope, so much hope in his eyes now that it took Leslie’s breath away.

“I saw you with a girl, outside the bar. Right before my last date there,” Leslie said, then shrugged. “She kissed you on the cheek and she told you that she loved you. I thought she was your girlfriend.”

Some of the confusion cleared from Ben’s face and he bit his lip. “That... was Jen, actually. That you saw me with. She’s been doing that since forever.”

Well. That certainly explained why she’d seemed so familiar. Leslie wanted to bang her head against a wall. Repeatedly.

“So, you don’t have a girlfriend,” Leslie stated, not even making it a question at this point. “And you’re not dating Jen either.”

Ben’s mouth twitched, then he shook his head. “Never dated her and never will. I’m single. I promise, Leslie.”

Leslie stared at him, then buried her face in her hands. “I feel like an idiot,” she admitted. Fuck, she wanted to hide somewhere and bang her head against a hard surface for her stupidity. She should’ve trusted her instincts. She could have had Ben _weeks_ ago.

Holy shit. She could have Ben now. She could have him now! Leslie felt dizzy all of a sudden.

“Hey. Breathe,” Ben ordered gently before his hand closed over Leslie’s wrist and pushed her hand down. He was smiling at Leslie when their eyes met. Leslie couldn’t help it: she smiled back, at first reluctantly and then wider when Ben’s own smile lit up his whole face.

“So, are we doing this, then?” Ben asked after a while, his hand still encircling Leslie’s wrist. Leslie rotated her hand until she could clasp Ben’s hand in hers. Looking down at their entwined fingers, she nodded. “I think we are.”

Ben’s smile could’ve lit up the whole restaurant. He signaled a waiter and turned back to Leslie. “Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri for you?”

Leslie looked at Ben, then down at their hands, before looking back up at Ben again and squeezing his hand in the process. “You know what? I think I’ll have a glass of wine tonight.”

All through dinner, their hands never stopped touching, and while the hour grew later, the two of them grew closer with each passing word and every told secret. They only realized how late it was when a waiter politely informed them that the restaurant was about to close. They laughed at themselves, a little embarrassed that they’d totally lost sense of time, then paid and left, Ben helping Leslie into her coat and then holding the door for her.

By mutual and silent agreement, they walked in the direction of Leslie’s house, their hands brushing against each other while they walked and talked about Ben’s plans for the future.

Leslie looked at him from the side, catching Ben’s eye when he looked over. Reaching for his hand, Leslie spoke quietly. “I think you’ll be amazing at whatever you choose to do, Ben.”

Ben looked stunned for a moment before the by now familiar smile blossomed on his face and he squeezed Leslie’s hand before pulling her along down the street. Their hands stayed entwined until they came to a halt in front of Leslie’s house.

Ben looked up at it, curious, then back down at Leslie and smiled at her, ducking his head. “So...” he said and trailed off.

Leslie laughed at how shy Ben suddenly was. “I had a really nice evening,” she said after a moment of silence. Ben looked up at her, his smile small and shy but pleased nonetheless.

“Me too,” he admitted, squeezing Leslie’s hand that was still clasped in his.

Leslie bit her lip, looking down at their hands, before she took a deep breath and steeled herself. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Ben said instantly.

Leslie hesitated, not daring to look at Ben before she continued. “That kiss... when you wanted to get rid of my date?” She looked at Ben who seemed a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden. “Was that just a ploy?”

Ben’s gaze flickered down to Leslie’s mouth briefly. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to kiss since you first set foot into the bar,” Ben confessed, his voice deep and throaty. Leslie’s breath caught in her chest at those words. “I wanted to kiss you, and I’m sorry I was such an ass afterwards.”

“Well then...” Leslie started before letting the hand not currently clasped in Ben’s slide over Ben’s hip to grasp it gently. “You should definitely make it up to me,” she ended, looking up at Ben through her eyelashes.

She felt Ben catch his breath while he stared at Leslie, then at her lips, before licking his own. “I think I can do that,” he whispered before letting his own hand slide up and around Leslie’s neck to the back of her head. He tugged gently and Leslie rose up to meet his lips in a soft kiss.

At first it was as gentle as the first time they’d done this. Then Ben’s hand tightened in Leslie’s hair and he opened his mouth, his breath fanning hot over Leslie’s lips. She opened them out of reflex and it was all the encouragement Ben needed. He pressed his body tight against Leslie’s, slung his arm around her waist and pressed his tongue between Leslie’s lips. She groaned and met it enthusiastically, pressing Ben back until he collided with the brick wall. Now it was Ben’s turn to groan, the sound swallowed by Leslie’s mouth. Her hands were both buried in Ben’s thick, unruly hair and she pushed Ben’s head back oh so gently, changing the angle of the kiss which had turned into a slick slide of lips against lips and tongues entwining hungrily.

They parted eventually when breathing became difficult. Leslie’s breath came out in a white cloud between them, making Leslie aware again of how cold it actually was. Ben was still leaning against the wall, his head tipped back and his eyes closed while his mouth was open, his lips swollen and well kissed. Leslie wanted to lean in again and start all over.

“Come inside with me,” Leslie said roughly, praying that Ben wanted this as much as Leslie did. His eyes fluttered open and he stared at Leslie. The brown of his eyes was almost completely gone and a surge of lust so intense swept through Leslie’s body that she swayed and almost fell against Ben.

“Okay,” Ben agreed after only a second’s thought. Leslie couldn’t help the silly grin exploding on her face, but she didn’t mind, for Ben’s answering smile was equally as silly.

They made it inside in record time. As soon as the door closed behind them, Leslie couldn’t stop touching Ben, wanting to peel him out of his clothes so she could finally see what she’d been fantasizing about for all these weeks when she’d watched Ben in his work uniform. Ben seemed to be of an equal mind, because he attacked the zipper on Leslie’s dress as soon as Leslie had gotten rid of her coat.

They stumbled down the hallway to Leslie’s bedroom, panting into each other’s mouths and giggling uncontrollably while trying to get rid of their clothes and failing miserably. Later, she wouldn’t be able to say how they managed to get there without killing themselves by stumbling over furniture. When they entered the bedroom, Leslie had already lost her dress and Ben’s shirt was hanging open, only clinging to his shoulders. They stopped for a moment to look, breathing hard and looking at each other with hunger and desperation. Ben shrugged his shoulder and let his shirt fall to the floor. Then he reached for Leslie’s bra.

“Can I?” he asked, breathless and turned on. Leslie groaned.

“Yes,” she breathed and groaned again when Ben’s fingers closed around one strap before reaching behind her and undoing the clasp. Without any further warning, his fingers brushed over one nipple, then glided to her other breast and repeated the same action, eliciting a moan from her.

Leslie stumbled and Ben’s arm shot down, sliding around her waist and holding her in place. Leslie’s hands slid over Ben’s naked back, trying to find purchase or something to cling to while Ben’s hand kneaded her slowly. She groaned again, breathing heavily against Ben’s neck, then grabbed the back of his nape and thrust forward. It was Ben’s turn to groan now and he trailed careful kisses down Leslie’s neck and to her collarbone.

“I have to see you,” Ben breathed and withdrew his hand. Leslie whined in protest but shut up when Ben grabbed the hem of Leslie’s underwear, shoved his hands down the back of them and peeled them over Leslie’s hip. He knelt down to get the underwear off all the way and Leslie readily stepped out of them. As soon as Ben had flung them aside, he looked up at Leslie from his kneeling position, mouth slightly open.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, almost worshipful. Leslie could feel herself flush, in embarrassment or lust, she wasn’t quite sure, but what she knew was that she’d never been with anyone like Ben before.

“So are you,” she rasped and couldn’t help but smile when Ben ducked his head slightly. It brought him level with Leslie’s clit, and he only hesitated a moment before he raised his hand, rubbed a fingertip across her lightly at first, then replaced it with his tongue. As soon as the warm, wet heat engulfed her, Leslie lost her capacity to breathe for a second. Her hand found its way into Ben’s hair and she moaned when his mouth slid further down, pushing his tongue in deeper, starting to suck. She was thrusting slightly into Ben’s mouth and a surge of lust shot through her when Ben’s moan vibrated through her skin, all the way through her body.

Suddenly a thought popped into her head and her eyes snapped open.

“Shit,” she cursed and bit back a groan when Ben let go of her instantly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking worried. Leslie had to bite back a laugh at the sight: Ben kneeling in front of her, his erection straining against his pants. God, she could get used to this.

“I don’t have any condoms,” Leslie admitted. “I... I wasn’t in need of them during the last few months and I usually don’t do this on the first date and what was I thinking - ”

“Shh,” Ben interrupted her, pushing to his feet and putting his hands on Leslie’s cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “It’s okay, Leslie. Hey, it’s okay. We can do something else. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Leslie repeated, looking miserably at Ben who just smiled.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” he assured and kissed Leslie slowly, never taking his hands away. Leslie had never felt more secure during sex than she did at that moment. She slung her arms around Ben and deepened the kiss, forcing her hand down the back of Ben’s pants and bathing in the groan that elicited. She took a step back, then another, until she felt her bed at the back of her knees. She let go of Ben and sat down on the mattress.

“Lose the pants,” she ordered, throatily. Ben swallowed visibly and complied readily, shoving the pants and boxers down. Leslie couldn’t help but stare at him in all his naked glory. He was even more beautiful than Leslie had anticipated. He wasn’t overly muscly but well defined with a toned stomach, smooth skin and a smattering of dark chest hair. And his dick! It was so beautiful, curving up towards Ben’s stomach and seeming to beg for Leslie’s attention. Slowly, she raised her hand and let her fingertips ghost over Ben’s stomach to his side, down to his hip and then gently carded it through wiry dark hair until she closed his hand around Ben’s dick.

He was hot to the touch and silky smooth. Leslie’s mouth watered at the sheer idea of putting her lips around the thick length. But not tonight. They had time now. Tonight, they could just get to know each other. There was always time for more later.

“Come here,” she whispered and held her hand out for Ben. He grasped it without hesitation and Leslie moved up the bed, urging Ben to follow her. When Leslie’s head hit the pillows, Ben slowly lowered himself slightly to the left of her, sliding a thigh between Leslie’s legs. As soon as his dick got into contact with her, Leslie groaned and thrust upwards without a conscious decision. Ben answered her with a thrust of his own, burying his face against Leslie’s neck.

Her hand came up again to slide into Ben’s hair, pressing his face closer against her heated skin, while her other hand wandered down to his ass and pressed him down. Her skin prickled where their bodies met, and Leslie breathed in the scent of Ben’s hair when he turned his head to press a kiss against her temple. Ben made a tiny noise against Leslie’s neck and shifted a little before he settled fully on top of Leslie, putting his forearm on the mattress to rise up a bit before thrusting down again, sliding against each other.

Leslie groaned and her hands grabbed Ben tightly while her heart beat frantically in her chest. She briefly thought about just throwing caution to the wind and saying fuck the condoms, but then Ben raised his head and looked at her. Heat curled low in Leslie’s stomach when she saw how far gone Ben really was, his pupils blown and his cheeks red. Then, slowly and without stopping to look at Leslie, he raised his hand and licked his fingertips one by excruciatingly aching one, before he pressed two of them between their bodies and entered Leslie in one swift motion.

Her leg came up of its own volition at that point, encircling Ben’s hip and drawing him closer, making it easier to thrust into Ben’s hand. She lost track of everything except Ben’s hot, slightly calloused hand after that point, thrusting against her and grabbing his hair while kissing him heatedly, almost frantically. It had been a while for Leslie so it didn’t take her very long to come. Still, it caught her completely by surprise when she came undone and her body shook underneath Ben with the force of her orgasm. She closed her eyes tightly and threw her head back into the pillow, groaning when Ben rained kisses down her exposed throat.

She was catching her breath when she noticed that Ben was still hard. Without missing a beat, Leslie slung her other leg around Ben’s hip and thrust upwards, shoving Ben’s dick against her own stomach. Ben answered with a downwards thrust and a deep groan.

“That’s it,” Leslie encouraged him. “Come on. I want you to.”

Ben groaned again and his thrusts turned frantic, completely losing any form of rhythm. Leslie kissed his neck, then slid her finger down Ben’s crease and pressed the tip. Ben threw his head back in a loud shout and came between them.

It took a while for their breathing to even out again. At one point, Ben slid off of Leslie and looked around for something before he grabbed the tissue box sitting on Leslie’s bedside table. He took out a few tissues to mop up the worst of the mess on Leslie’s stomach. Leslie couldn’t be bothered to get up right now. Instead, she curled up around Ben when he laid back down. Ben’s arms encircled her immediately without question. By some sort of silent agreement, they’d decided that Ben would stay.

They drifted in and out of sleep throughout the night, lazily groping each other whenever both of them were conscious enough for it. They would probably be groggy come morning but Leslie had missed sleeping next to someone else and she relished every minute she could listen to Ben’s even breathing.

When the sun finally came through the blinds of Leslie’s bedroom window, she gave up the pretense of sleep and peppered lazy kissed over Ben’s chest. The hand curled around Leslie’s waist tightened briefly, then moved to Leslie’s back and drew small circles on her skin.

“I never believed in love at first sight,” Ben said into the silence. Leslie froze up, not sure where this was heading, but Ben’s fingers moved in slow patterns over Leslie’s skin so he assumed it wasn’t bad.

“I still don’t, not really,” Ben continued after a moment. “But sometimes there’s this moment in time... Leslie, sometimes there’s just this moment where you look at a person and your heart suddenly expands, and you knew you were put on this path for a reason. And you say to yourself, ‘Oh, there you are... I’ve been searching for you forever.’”

Leslie’s heart was beating rapidly at that point and she raised her head, meeting Ben’s clear gaze. He didn’t look hesitant, or even scared. Instead, he caressed Leslie’s cheek with his thumb and leaned in for a close-mouthed, chaste kiss.

When they parted, Leslie stared at him, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Nobody had ever said something this beautiful to her. She didn’t know what to say in return, so instead she leaned back in and kissed Ben again; softly, lips moving carefully over Ben’s until he opened up. This kiss was different, not quite as fueled and lust driven as the ones they’d shared during the night. No, this kiss was something new; it was a promise.

They smiled at each other when they parted. Leslie’s finger ghosted down Ben’s cheek, then over his nose down to his mouth. She laughed when Ben kissed the tip, then bit playfully at it.

“So, what do you think about breakfast in bed?” Ben asked after they’d cuddled up and fell silent again. Leslie thought about it, about how she had this future with Ben to look forward to now, and made a decision.

“Actually,” she said, raising her head and giving Ben a smile. “I’d like you to meet my girls.”


End file.
